hard wood 

when you get it up, but are unable to ejaculate

dude i had time to kill so i tried masturbating, but all i got was hard wood

hard wood by spastic biscuit February 22, 2005

Hard wood 

Another name for a freaking large boner in the morning

"If they cut trees at that rate, it would take forever to cut through my hard wood"

Hard wood by PWNTOTHEFACETHHHTHHH June 27, 2008

hard wood floors 

a completely shaved pussy

Do the curtains match the carpet?
I have hard wood floors.

hard wood floors by Jims friend November 26, 2007

hard wood floor 

What I've got going on down there

I've got a hrd wood floor in my pants.

hard wood floor by Tracey September 17, 2003

hard wood carpet 

When a guy doesn’t shave down by his balls and his dick is hard

Damn buddy you have a hard wood carpet down there

hard wood carpet by Madfor December 28, 2021

Power buffing that hard wood 

2008 version of carpet munching, also known as female felacio.

i just saw two women power buffing that hard wood 69 style.

Power buffing that hard wood by Jesse Shaw aka crawdad aka j-shaw January 18, 2008

hardwood 

hard wood means to have a boner. hard meaning well hard and wood meaning penis. there u have it hard wood

dude1: damnit dude ive got got hardwood looking at her.
dude 2: what??
dude:1 a boner dumb shit

hardwood by $$$$$$@@@@^^^^^^ April 11, 2007