Hapster

Opposite of hipster. Dresses like a normal person and claims to have done stuff after it was cool and left the pop culture scene.

"Dude, I love Bowling For Soup."
"That band is 20 years old. Where have you been?"

"I'm a hapster man. Leave me alone."

by Thug 9 August 18, 2014

hapster

A type of hipster who lacks emo characteristics and is actually quite happy and goofy.

My hapster girlfriend wanted me to play dino-tag in the park with her in her ugly, $6 shoes, but instead we settled for a Disney movie.

by The Girl with Kaliedescope Eyes July 16, 2008

hipster milk

A beverage consumed primarily by hipsters. It consists of the hand-squeezed breast milk of organic, free-range, grain-fed soya beans. Hipster milk is free of all preservatives, artificial flavours, artificial colors, and pretense. Hipster milk is certified green. Soya beans are not harmed in the production of hipster milk.

"Hipster milk on sale this week: $6 / 1L eco-carton."

by hipster_of_the_month February 6, 2013

Hipster mullet

A hipster mullet is a hairstyle or hairdo, similar in volume to the rockabilly mullets sported by country legend Billy Ray Cyrus and TV star Richard Dean Anderson (better known as MacGyver) in the early 90s. The hipster mullet is an updated version of the rockabilly mullet, but infused with "alternative" elements such as neon highlights or extreme differentials between the length of the mullet piece (hair at top of head) and the hair on the sides and back of head, which might be shaved down to mere stubble. By shaving the back and sides down, the mullet piece is emphasized, thereby increasing the irony of the hairdo.

The hipster mullet has been adopted by hipster males and females alike. While a male hipster mullet and a female hipster mullet are similar, a male hipster mullet is often accompanied by additional moustaches, moustachios, beards, goatees, chinstraps, and designer stubble. For both males and females, the hipster mullet is typically accented by "larger than life" sun spectacles, worn at all times of year and in all light levels. Stiegl and Pabst are thought to provide nutrients such as provitamin B5 that improve mullet volume and sheen.

The hipster mullet is best observed in urban parks, in independent cafes, at alternative music gigs, and at college art shows, during the working hours of non-hipsters.

The hipster mullet is closely related to other updated hairstyles, such as the hipster mohawk and the hipster rattail.

"Daschiell, did you read my Tweet from five minutes ago??"

"Sorry Sabine, I'm still trying to update my blog on the weak wi-fi signal that everyone in this independent cafe is stealing from the Starbucks nextdoor. What was your Tweet about?"

"It was about how Bitsy and Flavius are sporting matching hipster mullets today! They are practically identical, except for the purple curls in hers and the neck beard growing out of his!"

"I hope they didn't see that you called them hipsters! They'll go apoplectic!"

by hipster_of_the_month May 8, 2013

natural hipster

A hipster that becomes a hipster through natural events. He most likely attends a liberal arts college or lives in an urban environment. Unlike most hipsters who are trying to fit the hipster scene, this type of hipster is the scene and creates it.

fake hipster: got a new ironic t-shirt today!

natural hipster: I made that t-shirt

by hillert November 6, 2013

burning the hamster

Verb. Laying one's dick on the radiator for sexual pleasure.

Kevin burnt his hamster on the radiator, making the entire room smell like burnt hamster.

by Nick Johnston February 6, 2005

Hipsterbation

When one masturbates with their left hand because everyone else masturbates with their right.

"Everyone shakes with their right hand, so you can't let your right be soft! That's why I masturbate with my left hand."

"Wait, so you masturbate with your left hand because no one else does?"

"Yeah"

"Hipsterbation, bro. Stoppit."

by FreeKayTeeKay March 8, 2012