hipster_of_the_month's definitions
A hipster mullet is a hairstyle or hairdo, similar in volume to the rockabilly mullets sported by country legend Billy Ray Cyrus and TV star Richard Dean Anderson (better known as MacGyver) in the early 90s. The hipster mullet is an updated version of the rockabilly mullet, but infused with "alternative" elements such as neon highlights or extreme differentials between the length of the mullet piece (hair at top of head) and the hair on the sides and back of head, which might be shaved down to mere stubble. By shaving the back and sides down, the mullet piece is emphasized, thereby increasing the irony of the hairdo.
The hipster mullet has been adopted by hipster males and females alike. While a male hipster mullet and a female hipster mullet are similar, a male hipster mullet is often accompanied by additional moustaches, moustachios, beards, goatees, chinstraps, and designer stubble. For both males and females, the hipster mullet is typically accented by "larger than life" sun spectacles, worn at all times of year and in all light levels. Stiegl and Pabst are thought to provide nutrients such as provitamin B5 that improve mullet volume and sheen.
The hipster mullet is best observed in urban parks, in independent cafes, at alternative music gigs, and at college art shows, during the working hours of non-hipsters.
The hipster mullet is closely related to other updated hairstyles, such as the hipster mohawk and the hipster rattail.
The hipster mullet has been adopted by hipster males and females alike. While a male hipster mullet and a female hipster mullet are similar, a male hipster mullet is often accompanied by additional moustaches, moustachios, beards, goatees, chinstraps, and designer stubble. For both males and females, the hipster mullet is typically accented by "larger than life" sun spectacles, worn at all times of year and in all light levels. Stiegl and Pabst are thought to provide nutrients such as provitamin B5 that improve mullet volume and sheen.
The hipster mullet is best observed in urban parks, in independent cafes, at alternative music gigs, and at college art shows, during the working hours of non-hipsters.
The hipster mullet is closely related to other updated hairstyles, such as the hipster mohawk and the hipster rattail.
"Daschiell, did you read my Tweet from five minutes ago??"
"Sorry Sabine, I'm still trying to update my blog on the weak wi-fi signal that everyone in this independent cafe is stealing from the Starbucks nextdoor. What was your Tweet about?"
"It was about how Bitsy and Flavius are sporting matching hipster mullets today! They are practically identical, except for the purple curls in hers and the neck beard growing out of his!"
"I hope they didn't see that you called them hipsters! They'll go apoplectic!"
"Sorry Sabine, I'm still trying to update my blog on the weak wi-fi signal that everyone in this independent cafe is stealing from the Starbucks nextdoor. What was your Tweet about?"
"It was about how Bitsy and Flavius are sporting matching hipster mullets today! They are practically identical, except for the purple curls in hers and the neck beard growing out of his!"
"I hope they didn't see that you called them hipsters! They'll go apoplectic!"
by hipster_of_the_month May 8, 2013
Get the Hipster mullet mug.Refers to the wonderfully smooth and buoyant feeling that a male experiences when he is having sexual intercourse with a larger woman. ("Larger" refers to body shape: full-figured, curvy, chubby, or fat. In general, it does not refer to height, although women with "extra junks in their trunks" can often be as tall as, or taller than, the males trying to bone them. These women often have heavy full breasts, squishy tummies, generous buttocks, and thick thighs, all of which provide padding for the male's frenzied thrusts.)
"That broad that Jim is talking to over at the bar is at least three times his weight. Each of her mammary glands weighs more than both his legs. What's his deal?"
"His wife's pelvis bone keeps giving him rope burn when they shag. So he's out to find more cushion for the pushin'."
"His wife's pelvis bone keeps giving him rope burn when they shag. So he's out to find more cushion for the pushin'."
by hipster_of_the_month December 5, 2012
Get the More cushion for the pushin' mug.A beverage consumed primarily by hipsters. It consists of the hand-squeezed breast milk of organic, free-range, grain-fed soya beans. Hipster milk is free of all preservatives, artificial flavours, artificial colors, and pretense. Hipster milk is certified green. Soya beans are not harmed in the production of hipster milk.
by hipster_of_the_month February 6, 2013
Get the hipster milk mug."In a few days" is a phrase used to convey reassurance and hope after a bad turn of events or the development of an less-than-ideal situation. It is meant to suggest that the situation will resolve itself on its own within a short period of time (although perhaps not necessarily a "few days"). It thereby implies that the suffering caused by the bad turn of events will also be relieved shortly. Often, the phrase is used without any real knowledge that the situation will in fact resolve. Sometimes it is used by an annoyed friend simply to placate the affected person.
"Marcy and I had a terrible fight. She smashed up the kitchen, took all our savings, and jumped in the truck and just drove off. What am I going to do??"
"Calm down. She loves you. I'm sure she will come crawling back in a few days."
"I can't believe it! My boss fired me this morning, in front of everyone! He told me to clean out my desk and hand in my keys! He asked security to escort me out!"
"I'm sure it'll blow over in a few days."
"DUDE, what on Earth happened last night?? When I woke up, my head was in the cabinet underneath the bathroom sink, my back has been shaved, and my face and chest are crusted over with boils!"
"I have no idea buddy, but don't sweat it. I'm sure they'll clear up in a few days."
"Calm down. She loves you. I'm sure she will come crawling back in a few days."
"I can't believe it! My boss fired me this morning, in front of everyone! He told me to clean out my desk and hand in my keys! He asked security to escort me out!"
"I'm sure it'll blow over in a few days."
"DUDE, what on Earth happened last night?? When I woke up, my head was in the cabinet underneath the bathroom sink, my back has been shaved, and my face and chest are crusted over with boils!"
"I have no idea buddy, but don't sweat it. I'm sure they'll clear up in a few days."
by hipster_of_the_month May 17, 2013
Get the In a few days mug.An expression of condemnation or exasperation uttered by someone (typically a non-hipster) after a hipster has done or said something ill-advised.
"Did you hear that Humphrey got Tulip preggers after he accidentally put on one of the rubber balloons left over from his balloon portrait of Bjork embracing Madonna, instead of a condom?"
"Hipstake!"
"Hipstake!"
by hipster_of_the_month May 7, 2013
Get the Hipstake mug.A form of fully-clothed sexual intercourse, usually practiced by hipsters, who prefer it because it allows them to leave their ultra-tight jeans on during the act. (The process of removing the jeans may take several hours to complete, by which time the need or desire for sex could be dissipated.)
"What are those two people doing? It looks like they're writhing around on top of a copy of Pitchfork magazine, interlocked but fully-clothed."
"It's just hipster sex. Leave them to it."
"It's just hipster sex. Leave them to it."
by hipster_of_the_month December 4, 2012
Get the hipster sex mug.When two hipsters use telepathy to declare a romantic interest in one another. Words, a peck on the cheek, a reassuring touch, or even a simple smile would betray emotion, thereby running the risk that onlookers might suspect the two hipsters are enjoying the moment truthfully (rather than ironically).
"Lars, do you see how Marius and Clementine are staring coldly at one another from across the room, without speaking or motion of any kind? Do you see how dead her eyes look behind those turquoise spectacles?"
"Yes, Niko, I do. What's their deal?"
"It's a hipster kiss. They'll be engaged as quickly as you can Tweet 'Free art show! BYOB!!' "
"Yes, Niko, I do. What's their deal?"
"It's a hipster kiss. They'll be engaged as quickly as you can Tweet 'Free art show! BYOB!!' "
by hipster_of_the_month May 7, 2013
Get the Hipster kiss mug.