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GoonTard - a Portmanteau of Gooner and Retarded. Used to refer to a Chronic Compulsive Masturbator who jerks off for hours and hours and hours every day. He eventually becomes a stupid gooner and looks like he's retarded because his brain has shut down all but core functions. Most guys consider them Idiots and Morons because they have no goals or ambition other than to masturbate all day long, usually on the internet where anyone can see them.
Tim: Hey Ryan, I heard your older brother is a GoonTard

Ryan: Yeah, he's a Total GoonTard.

Tim: Does he really do nothing but masturbate all day?

Ryan: Yeah, mom and dad have given up on him. He hasn't left his sroom in 3 months, so they just slide a plate of food in there once a day.

Tim: Sorry bro.

Ryan: Yeah Me too. I'm afraid I'm gonna become a GoonTard too.
Goontard by Antonio El Pajero July 31, 2020
Related Words
A tall woman over 5'10". Goontars are usually physically threatening, but are not necessarily fat. Guys who are attracted to them are called "goontar slayers" and are ready to draw their swords whenever a big woman is near. Not all are unattractive and are called "slayable goontars".
Laurie is such a goontar. She could probably play linebacker for the Bears.
goontar by shitballcity October 27, 2009
Like a fucktard but think goonier. The epitomy of hick moron with no common sense.
"My boyfriends relatives are a bunch of goontards"
Goontard by Shannon (CREAM) November 4, 2006
Tom is such a goontard
goontard by Jeremy H October 27, 2005
A man addicted to porn on severe level and starts losing brain cells. He wakes up and goons for approximately 14 hours a day.
My friend is a goontard.

My Friend is addicted to porn he's becoming a goontard
goontard by d6ree November 6, 2023
Usually defines someone who has no physical impairment, but acts like a mental impairment exists or extreme gylcemic spike causing someone to spaz out.
Please stop acting like a total goontard.
Goontard by NotYourShelia December 31, 2014