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Goontard

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GoonTard - a Portmanteau of Gooner and Retarded. Used to refer to a Chronic Compulsive Masturbator who jerks off for hours and hours and hours every day. He eventually becomes a stupid gooner and looks like he's retarded because his brain has shut down all but core functions. Most guys consider them Idiots and Morons because they have no goals or ambition other than to masturbate all day long, usually on the internet where anyone can see them.
Tim: Hey Ryan, I heard your older brother is a GoonTard

Ryan: Yeah, he's a Total GoonTard.

Tim: Does he really do nothing but masturbate all day?

Ryan: Yeah, mom and dad have given up on him. He hasn't left his sroom in 3 months, so they just slide a plate of food in there once a day.

Tim: Sorry bro.

Ryan: Yeah Me too. I'm afraid I'm gonna become a GoonTard too.
Goontard by Antonio El Pajero July 31, 2020
Related Words

goontar 

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A tall woman over 5'10". Goontars are usually physically threatening, but are not necessarily fat. Guys who are attracted to them are called "goontar slayers" and are ready to draw their swords whenever a big woman is near. Not all are unattractive and are called "slayable goontars".
Laurie is such a goontar. She could probably play linebacker for the Bears.
goontar by shitballcity October 27, 2009

Goontard

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Like a fucktard but think goonier. The epitomy of hick moron with no common sense.
"My boyfriends relatives are a bunch of goontards"
Goontard by Shannon (CREAM) November 4, 2006

goontard

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An extremely stupid person. A major moron
Tom is such a goontard
goontard by Jeremy H October 27, 2005

goontard

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A man addicted to porn on severe level and starts losing brain cells. He wakes up and goons for approximately 14 hours a day.
My friend is a goontard.

My Friend is addicted to porn he's becoming a goontard
goontard by d6ree November 6, 2023

Goontard

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Usually defines someone who has no physical impairment, but acts like a mental impairment exists or extreme gylcemic spike causing someone to spaz out.
Please stop acting like a total goontard.
Goontard by NotYourShelia December 31, 2014
More from Urban Dictionary

Overstand 

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To understand a topic or statement to the highest extent.
Leroy, after being told the tenth time by his sister, did overstand her idea of robbing the 7-11.
Overstand by Elf Eater March 23, 2003
Word of the Day on August 20, 2026

minimap 

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A map that mostly tells you where everything is
Friend 1: Follow me there is a player nearby
Friend 2: How do you know?
Friend 1: Minimap
minimap by LeWord January 13, 2015
Word of the Day on August 19, 2026

Pink Cloud

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12 step recovery jargon referring to someone new who talks about how great life is, now that they're sober. Usually meaning that the person is out of touch with reality.
The new guy seems pretty happy for a dude who has no job, no money and no family. He must be on a pink cloud.
Pink Cloud by toniwithaneye November 24, 2006
Word of the Day on August 18, 2026

Dotard 

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An aging individual who has long lost the ability to make rational sense.
That dotard is going to get us all blown up, if he doesn't calm down .
Dotard by anonymous September 22, 2017
Word of the Day on August 17, 2026

Chancla

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The deadliest weapon known to a Latin kid; a flying slipper/ flip-flop.
My mom hit me with a chancla.
Chancla by TardisBae October 31, 2014
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Striver 

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The striver is an interesting phenomenon that is seen across college campuses. In essence, the striver is an over-achiever who comes from a working or middle class family. He may be an immigrant. He may have been a slacker in HS who was "born again" into an academic wunderkind. Or he may just be an over-achiever who is keeping at it.

The striver is willing to sacrifice his social life at the expense of Phi Beta Kappa and Summa Cum Laude. The striver is the guy who stays at the library long after you are gone. The striver is the guy who takes 30 credits/semester and considers anything below an A/4.0 failure. The striver doesn't work on campus, he is too busy finding ways to pad his resume instead of working retail or workstudy. The striver lets his grades pay his education by applying to ten scholarships a year.

The striver is a future Soros/Fullbright/Rhodes/Gates/Marshall/etc. fellow. The striver lives to study. For the striver, their fun comes from the rewards they expect to receive in return for their diligence. Be it Law School, B-School, academia, or politics. The striver seeks to find the American Dream through academic success.
Anthony was a striver. He transfered from a TTT to an IVY and graduated in 2 years. He studied his ass off and went to Penn Law. He got a Biglaw offer. But lost it all because of an unmoderated mesasgeboard.

Successful strivers:
- Barack Obama
- Harold Koh
Striver by URM Striver January 3, 2009
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