futoni

Futoni: a word you say instead of Fuck. It takes after the furniture piece, the futon and she only be used in the rarest of circumstances, or when something is really messed up.

"Shut the futoni up about it"
"Futoni, I stubbed my toe"
"Gosh futoni darnittttttt"

by bigeats100 June 10, 2020

captain futon

n. a guy who sleeps on a futon...and particularly likes to tell you when he is transforming it from couch to bed form or vise versa.

Captain Futon to girl: I think im gonna lie down on my futon, gimme a second to transform it from couch to bed form.

by randomness42467 February 21, 2009

Futon Time

Committing sexual acts while being on a futon, most likely on a futon that is not yours.

Walking in while Megan and Chris were having "Futon Time" was so awkward...

by Nathan Jang April 5, 2011

Human Futon

A friendly girl who enjoys showering with entire athletic teams and has more random guys pass out on her than a Frat room futon.

Wow Katy, you and the entire football team? You are such a human futon.

by Hey Buddy July 2, 2008

futon bum

A person who spends all their free time laying on a futon, especially in a college dorm room. They usually lay there all day and watch TV and often sleep on it.

Dude, Brian has been on the futon for the past 18 hours! He's such a futon bum!

by Don't worry who this is February 24, 2008

Fuktonium

Fuktonium is produced when corium combines with pro-nuclear bullshit, pro-nuclear horseshit and pro-nuclear batshit plus seawater. (Three kinds of shit that every nuclear facility has in abundance. A fourth is generally provided by academic institutions - chickenshit.) Fuktonium is the element at the center of PLUME GATE.

beach comber A. : Sayonara tidepools, Sayonara fishing industry...
beachcomber B.: It's the FUKTONIUM that's doing it.
beachcomber A .: Not a big mystery is it?

beachcomber B.: There is no mystery its FUKTONIUM

by shut'emdown. March 12, 2020

futnigga

someone who tries too hard to fit in, making himself look ridiculous in the process. desperately seeks the approval of his peers old time jackass, or peon. also might claim to have some kind of bullshit swag

can be old or young, but seems to just try to damn hard to be liked, what a lame
Guy 1 "did you see what that guy was wearing?"
Guy 2 "Hell yeah im embarrassed to be in the same room as him"
Guy 1 "Whata futnigga!"

by swagadelic December 30, 2011