A classic amongst the Kyle's, Bootlicker's, and the "I was going to join the
Marines but-*insert fake health condition*" crowd, Five Finger Death Punch is essentially Pantera with an extra chromosome. Their specialty is pandering to people who love veterans, in order to keep what little relevance they have. Their
target audience is comprised of people who can't read, people who want to claim they listen to "metal" without listening to metal, and people who just want to appear strong to make up for their slow learning abilities. The only bright spot of this
band is that their guitarist is pretty good, but that is frequently overshadowed by news of Ivan Moody (frontman) playing hopscotch between different rehab facilities. When it comes to songwriting, let's just say the
ABC's has a more complex lyrical makeup and song structure than just about
everything this
band has put out. It could be worse though; They could be Trapt.
"Did you hear that new Five Finger Death
Punch song?"
"Which one? The one where
Ivan sings about eating
blue crayons? Or the one where he sings about eating green crayons?"
