A classic amongst the
Kyle'
s, Bootlicker's, and the "I was going to join the Marines but-*insert
fake health condition*" crowd, Five Finger Death Punch is essentially Pantera with an extra chromosome. Their specialty is pandering to people who
love veterans, in order to keep what little relevance they have. Their target audience is comprised of people who can't read, people who want to claim they listen to "
metal" without listening to
metal, and people who just want to appear strong to make up for their
slow learning abilities. The only bright spot of this band is that their guitarist is pretty good, but that is frequently overshadowed by news of Ivan Moody (frontman) playing hopscotch between different rehab facilities. When it comes to songwriting, let's just say the
ABC's has a more complex lyrical makeup and song structure than just about everything this band has put out. It could be worse though; They could be Trapt.
"Did you hear that
new Five Finger Death Punch song?"
"Which one? The one where
Ivan sings about eating
blue crayons? Or the one where he sings about eating green crayons?"
