Great heavens almighty! Is that our savior, divine being from above, the Jesus Christ?! Why, no, but I can see why you’
re confused. That, my friend, is a faberge egg, one of the most illusory objects to ever exist. It is timeless, crafted from the souls of dead
Republican senators, detailed with an engraved sequential narrative depicting the entire plot to “How to Train Your Dragon”, and stands on a plate composed of flattened Twisted
Tea cans. It is remarkable, terrifyingly beautiful, and the perfect shape to stick up your
ass.
In the early years of primary school education on
drugs, the government showed a video, where a cracked egg in a frying pan was “your brain on
drugs”. If that was a faberge egg, the quote would’ve been “this is your
brain on God”.