duties

the funniest word known to mankind
seriously just say it a few times and its hilarious

me and rob were cracking up all day about duties

Rob: Lucas have you performed your duties??

duties by JahLove March 8, 2009

Duties

Shitting out your uppity Jew lies and stealing other people's shit upto and including rights in the name of your kids.

Hym "Nah, I am not doing any duties until I get the credit I deserve and my fucking grievance is remediated and I CAN PROVE you are not protecting your kids by doing this and I can do it today. So, fuck your kids. You're delusional about being the fucking duty-man. The threat to you kids isn't greater than the threat this poses to me and their lives aren't more important than mine."

Duties by Hym Iam September 4, 2025

duties at hand

the means by which someone pleasures themself

i am busy with the duties at hand... please call back later.

duties at hand by big phat phart October 12, 2014

manly duties

When a guy goes to jerk off.

BRB gotta go do my manly duties

manly duties by kasdjflas April 2, 2008

dead guy duties 

Duties which are performed whilst in the dog house.

Nacho: Ok... Maybe I am not meant for these duties. Cooking duty. Dead guy duty. Maybe it's time for me to get a better duty!

Jennifer: Hey, you are home all day, do your dead guy duties

dead guy duties by Goonz March 8, 2013

bathroomly duties 

A more polite and genteel way of describing what one does while perched upon the porcelain throne.

Chauncey Throckmorton:

I must say, my dear Douchington, that I partook of a good deal of those White Castle "sliders" whilst visiting the United States. While I confess the taste was quite delightful, I was dismayed at the havoc they wrought upon my gastrointestinal system. Upon hearing the cacophonous stomach rumbling, I realized that the need to attend to my bathroomly duties was indeed urgent!

Winston Douchington:

Oh dear, my good Throckmorton, is there anything to be learnt from this most unfortunate turn of events?

Chauncey Throckmorton:

Well, Douchington, I suspect that the lesson to be learnt here is that one should eat the damned things whilst perched upon the porcelain throne.

Winston Douchington:

Ah, but of course, my good Throckmorton. But of course!

bathroomly duties by whimzzical July 13, 2010

Womanly Duties 

Babying and cuddling your significant other, waiting on them hand and foot, giving them everything they want and desire. See wifely duties

When your boyfriend is sick it is a must that you unleash your womanly duties in them.

Womanly Duties by JustTheDriver March 19, 2020