The jet propulsion of epic amounts of lakewater up a woman's anus and vagina simultaneously, while also receiving a water spanking from tubing in a sit-in tube, behind a speed boat.
Climb into the tube and I'll go so fast you'll get a douchema that will knock an ovary loose!
If the all Toothless Morons in the Midwest and Cretins in the Florida Panhandle didn’t believe the Russian state sponsored Propaganda flooded onto social media, we would have never elected President Douchebag; that is why they all have a garage full of products from Ronco like Popeil's Pocket Fisherman.
One who makes douchebag statements, particularly sexist, racist or otherwise bigoted ones, then decides whether they were “just joking” or dead serious based on whether other people in the group approve or not.
"Oh man women should just stay in the kitchen, it's the only place they're useful"
*with one group* "Haha just kidding, that's sexist"
*with anther* "lol amirite"
"You're a total schrodinger’s douchebag you know that right?"
When a douchebag gets ready for an evening out on the town he wants to smell his freshest. Nothing in his arsenal of body sprays, lotions, colognes, deodorants and the like are as important as his "douchebag febreeze", aka AXE BODY SPRAY. A douchebag will thoroughly saturate themself with their AXE BODY SPRAY; they cannot use a normal amount, as they don't think it will be enough to keep them fresh throughout the evening. This is to be applied right before walking out the door, as the smell needs to be as strong as possible for interaction with the ladies. If ever you find yourself getting a whiff of what smell like hugh hefners balls dipped in kerosene, watch out; there is a douchebag on the prowl. Run, fast and far.
brad--i need to smell fresh tonight bro
tj--use my axe body spray broski, there's half a bottle left, is that enough?
brad--i guess it will have to be brah spray my swoled up muscles down
brad & tj--(fist pumping) fresh to death!!!
-brad & tj walk into club-
sara--mmm do i smell douchebag febreeze? that's my kind of guy!!
When a needy & pathetic girl posts/tweets her desperation for a boyfriend. Usually getting the attention of every douchebag who's able to read it, knowing they'll need little to no effort to get her, keep her, and treat her as crappy as they want.
Post: "I really wish I just had someone to be by my side. I'm so tired of being alone. Why doesn't anyone out there want me?"
Reply: "You know damn well that's a douchebag casting call. Now every asswipe is gonna come running to treat you like crap."
Term used to describe someone who is a mix of both rural (country) and urban (metropolitan) lifestyles/upbringings. He/she is typically equally comfortable in both settings and is able to seamlessly slip back and forth between the two, appreciating the characteristics of each.
That ol' gal of mine drives the 12 lane freeway during the week and a John Deere on the weekends. She likes opra and the Grand Ol' Opry. I love them countrypolitan women.
A bath consisting of a variety of slats, oils, soaps or any other added ingredients such as fruits, milks, herbs or any other spices for health or beautifying benifits.
She brought home alot of stuff and took it to the bathroom. She must be taking a witch bath.
While our lifespan is the number of years we will live, our healthspan is the number of healthy years we will have and our sexspan is is the number of years we will continue to be healthy enough to continue having an active sex life.
A lighthearted reaction upon receiving disappointing news of some sort. Usually something that isn't a particularly a big deal, esp. when it primarily affects someone else - sort of a mild schadenfreude. Sometimes doubled or tripled, and possibly said in a sing-songy voice for added comedic effect to imitate a muted trumpet, which is how the meme originated.
You didn't get any napkins with your takeout pork fried rice? Womp womp.