An unfortunate birth defect whereby
one’s digestive tract is reversed, causing one to
eat with their ass and crap out of their mouth. The ass must be trained to chew
food in the same manner as teeth. A serious side effect of transverse digestion is halitosis.
Derek: “Hey Mike, how come you never
eat with us?”
Mike: “I didn’t want you to watch me eat with my transverse digestion condition.”
Derek: “So THAT’S why your breath stinks like shit!”