21 definitions by joseph blough

An alternative pronunciation of “asswipe”. Taken from an old SNL sketch with Nicolas Cage, where a soon-to-be father is struggling to find a name for his newborn son, worrying that any name would be made fun of by his son’s peers. It is later revealed by a telegram delivery man at the door that the father’s name is “Asswipe Johnson”. Mr. Johnson promptly corrects him saying “that’s OSSWEEPAY!!!”
Knock at the door: “Telegram for Mr. & Mrs. Asswipe Johnson!”

Asswipe Johnson: “That’s Ossweepay!”
by joseph blough February 4, 2023
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1) When you take a shit in a glass of soda pop.

2) An old Alka-Seltzer ad campaign.
Stan needed to take a crap badly, but there was no toilet nearby. He improvised with a bucket and 2-liter of Pepsi. He ended up with a Plop Plop Fizz Fizz.
by joseph blough February 26, 2022
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green diarrhea, resulting from excessive overeating of asparagus and other cooked green vegetables
Adam became a vegetarian and ate too many green vegetables last night. This morning he had a bad case of greenarrhia.
by joseph blough April 27, 2014
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When you spread your ass cheeks for all the world to see and push out a turd part way so your ass looks like a cyclops with a big brown eye.
I felt a crap on deck so I decided to do a cycraps for my friends. They still have nightmares from it.
by joseph blough December 10, 2021
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An alternative pronunciation of “assface”, when you don’t want an assface to know you are calling them as such. Here the “c” in “assface” is pronounced “che”, as in Italian.
That guy Ryan looks like he has a butt for a head. But I don’t want to insult him, so I just refer to him as an ahhsfache.
by joseph blough October 3, 2022
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An act of climbing into the ass of a large person or animal, crawling through their digestive tract and eventually making their way out of the mouth.
Johnny started his rectal adventure when he inserted his head into the elephant’s butt and proceeded to crawl through a system of shit and acid until he was regurgitated out of the elephant’s mouth.
by joseph blough October 8, 2023
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An unfortunate birth defect whereby one’s digestive tract is reversed, causing one to eat with their ass and crap out of their mouth. The ass must be trained to chew food in the same manner as teeth. A serious side effect of transverse digestion is halitosis.
Derek: “Hey Mike, how come you never eat with us?”
Mike: “I didn’t want you to watch me eat with my transverse digestion condition.”
Derek: “So THAT’S why your breath stinks like shit!”
by joseph blough April 9, 2022
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