disasturbating 

Disasturbating: To revel in doom-mongering predictions about the future of mankind. A particular predilection of left-leaning environmentalists who claim we are but 30 years away from living in Cormac McCarthy's 'The Road', without radical change that is diametrically incompatible with how people actually want to live, and that is completely futile at the individual level anyway. There's also a right-wing version that thinks gay marriage and universal healthcare will somehow bring about the end of days.

"Oh my God, Peak Oil! Polar Ice Caps melting! Unchecked population growth! Stockpile canned goods and a shotgun, the apocalypse is coming!"
"FFS, stop disasturbating."

disasturbating by OnlyMe! November 8, 2013

disasterbating

Imagining that the worst possible things are going to happen regarding the future, over and over, until you totally freak yourself out.

Deena has been disasterbating about her big trip next week to Chicago. Now she's too scared to pack!

disasterbating by LaMaupin March 18, 2014

dicksturbating 

When you take your penis and jack it off until white cream shoots out all over the place

My roommate couldn't fall asleep so he's in the bathroom dicksturbating again

dicksturbating by D Flawless April 3, 2019

disasturbation 

(n) term used to describe when pleasuring oneself ends tragically with an unfortunately timed interruption

"I was jacking off and my cat jumped on my lap right before i came. It was a terrible disasturbation session."
"Then a couple days later, my mom decided to barge into my room to wake me up as i was cranking it under my sheets. I disasturbated twice this week."

disasturbation by systemofanup June 21, 2010

disasturbation 

Masturbation...with disastrous results.

Theres no such thing as the verb, "disasturbate" because you never plan it. Disasturbation is the result of a failed attempt. Disasturbation just happens, and boy does it suck when it does.

disasturbation by cakeofages October 18, 2008

disasturbation 

To masturbate during a disaster, or when normal masturbation turns disastrous.

Masturbation turns into disasturbation if you're arrested for doing it in public.

disasturbation by eosbnnaarsh November 8, 2011

disasterbating

The act of masturbating violently, perhaps using objects that inflict pain on ones genitals, in order to achieve sexual pleasure.

1:"i was disasterbating yesterday with a a piece of plywood and i cant get the splinters out of my dick"

2:"i slammed my dick in the desk drawer yesterday when i was disasterbating and it is crooked now"

disasterbating by Stretch911 April 19, 2011