crustals 

dried up slobber pertaining to a human or dog

Billy's slobber crustals were all over the couch pillows.

crustals by Kristin Malm December 26, 2007

spooge crystals

White crusty substance that has been left over after mansoup spills on furniture and dries.

I went to sit on my couch and noticed my roommate left spooge crystals all over my favorite spot.

My girlfriends bangs were stuck to her forehead due to spooge crystals.

spooge crystals by Ima P Ness April 25, 2010

Cancer crystals

White sugar; can be applied to salt, brown sugar, sweetener, but most usually to white sugar, on the basis that "everything" - sugar, sweetener, coffee, red meat, water, oxygen and light will cause cancer (eventually).

Taking all available information into account, the only way to avoid dying of cancer is to forswear all food and drink, and shut yourself in an airtight lead box. You won't die of cancer. You will still die, and quite quickly, but it won't be of cancer.

"Coffee's done. Milk and sugar ?"

"No milk, but gimme two spoons of cancer crystals".

Cancer crystals by eighth of seven February 6, 2010

Wizard Crystals 

Dried semen found on clothing, bedding, etc.

Aww crap, I've got some wizard crystals on my sheet.

Wizard Crystals by ShawnTheRoaster March 12, 2011

cum crystals 

Men’s time of the month when they experience intense pain from crystallized semen making it’s way through the penis, at least 10 times worse than normal woman cramps

Ryan: hey man wanna go out tonight?
Sonny: sorry man, I just got my cum crystals today and I’m gonna be crankin it all night trying to get rid of em

cum crystals by Soni_trailblazer September 14, 2023

shit crystals

When someone rips ass, the tiny molecules that fill the air that make the area stink. these tiny crystals that cannot be seen by human eye hold the smell of shit

Common jake why the fuck you have to fart now all your shit crystals are floating around the room

shit crystals by fwdaddiction January 18, 2008

gooch crystals

piss residue and or sweat that runs over your balls and dryes on your gooch, forming shiny crystal like substances

i wish i had a shower today, my gooch crystals are rubbing my leg

gooch crystals by GolfSon July 27, 2009