crossfaith 

Proof that Japan can also have some kickass metalcore bands.

Crossfaith discography (as of mid-to-late 2023):
1). The Dream, the Space (2011)
2). Apocalyze (2013)
3). Xeno (2015)
4). Ex Machina (2018)

crossfaith by 7568ino December 4, 2023

CrossFat

A training regimen which parodies CrossFit: the slogan "Forging Elite Fitness" is replaced with "Forging Elite Fatness." The regimen itself is superfluous calorie intake in single sittings for the sake of hedonism. Macro nutrients and dietary protocols are collectively disregarded; instead, the only measurable and competitive component is simply total amount consumed.

Person A: Bro, I heard you wrapped up another CrossFat the other night, how'd ya do it?

Person B: Brew, I slammed 'er back with straight up Chicken McNuggets. I downed a total of 79 in one go!

CrossFat by Sourcream Flex February 25, 2013

crossfit jesus 

A person who is obsessed with crossfit and metalcore music. They are so talented at crossfit, they feel the need to participate in it almost every day, even when injured. Also known as WWE Superstar Seth Rollins.

My friend keeps sending me pictures of crossfit jesus lifting weights and she needs to stop.

crossfit jesus by Sk8rWolfy August 9, 2016

Crossfit Strong 

"Crossfit Strong" is very much like being "Weightwatchers Thin", i.e. you might think you're hot shit, but out in the real world, you're 2 milkshakes away from greenpeace pushing you back into the ocean like the overbloated land cetacean that you have become.

With their total lack of linear or otherwise strength progression programming, and instead random, jerking, as-fast-as-fucking-possible and fuck the form, exercise, your average crossfitter will build the kind of strength that would impress a whole playground full of 8 year olds. Until the 10 year olds turned up and out-lifted them (whilst using vastly superior form).

You might think half-squatting a PVC pipe 30 times is impressive, if you're surrounded by similar white, middle class, cult-buddies. You'll probably harp on with some old bullshit about "functional strength", as if there is a way of being strong that is somehow useless. You might even be arrogant enough to equate throwing barbells around, without any form of programming, to a lifetime of hard graft and labour, and claim you have a similar base of strength. Let me tell you, Cultfitters. Any farmer aged 8 and up will outlift your skinny, DYEL, wet bag, rotator cuff worrying, carb depleted bullshit.

Weightlifter: 'Dude, why are you throwing your legs around while you do a pullup? You realise that doesn't actually work the muscles you're trying to target any better right? And in fact may increase the stress on your shoulder joints, right?'

Crossfitter: 'But I'm Crossfit Strong! Plus... I can't really do a strict form pull up'.

Weightlifter: 'Well you could work on that, become stronger until you can do a whole bunch?'

Crossfitter: 'No! That's ok, I just like to turn up and do a random bunch of exercises without any thought to what my goals or objectives are, you know, apart from doing it all FASTER!'.

Weightlifter: 'Ok. The adult weights are over in the corner if you'd like to join me, I'll be deadlifting with PROPER FORM and NOT FOR TIME 3x what you lift, in the corner. Come join me when your rotator cuffs are healed'.

Crossfitter: 'INSERT CROSSFIT HQ MANTRA

Crossfit Strong by DoYouEvenLiftXfitters January 17, 2014

crossfit gay 

When you’re gay and you have to constantly tell everyone about it. Much like people who do CrossFit

Yo, my friend Miranda is CrossFit gay. No one asked, but she just has to keep telling us.

crossfit gay by CisJg April 1, 2022

Crossfit wank

Someone who partakes in the sport of Crossfit and all they do is go on and on about it to everyone else as if nothing else in life matters

Alan “oh I wish I could lift this box up without it hurting my back”
Caroline “well if you did Crossfit you wouldn’t have a sore back”
Alan “omg you are such a Crossfit wank”

Crossfit wank by Fflech July 3, 2018

Crossfit 

the Scientology of fitness. Sometimes known as "Cultfit."

Like most cults:

-Their subjects are put into physically and/or emotionally distressing situations, breaking their will over time.
-Their problems are oversimplified and repeatedly emphasized.
-They are unconditionally "loved," accepted, and receive "guidance" from a charismatic "leader."
-Their identity is now based on the group.
-They are, in a subtle way, encouraged to break off ties from friends and/or family who do not participate in this newfound CULTure.
-Access to external information is severely monitored and/or controlled.

A: "Wasn't Eric supposed to go out with us today?"

B: "No, he mentioned something about Crossfit and a WOD."

A: "What about the concert on Friday?"

B: "Nope. He's watching some sort of Crossfit competition on the East side."

A: "Well, what about your wedding next month? Isn't he a groomsman?"

B: "He had to cancel so he could try out for the Crossfit Games."

A: "Wow, Eric has turned into a cunt."

B: "He says he only does it for the exercise and doesn't really like the people at his gym, but I'm starting to believe he has fallen to dark side. Sometimes I think he cannot be saved from this superficial idiocy."

Crossfit by seasonsgreetingsbilly March 4, 2013