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Charlie Cornheiser
A practice descrobed by "comedian" Tom Shillue on RedEye in reference to video footage of an Iranian soccer team that resulted in Islamic immorality charges with a possible fine, prison term, and lashes. Presumably, Mr. Shillue has extensive experience with the practice, which is named for a combination charlie-horse/cornhole, not a real person by that name
The "Charlie Cornheiser" involves patting a fellow player on the buttocks in a seemingly innocuous manner common in any athletic celebration then sliding the hand up into the junkal region for a cheap grope.
The "Cornheiser" is not a quick, accidental contact. It is an obviously intentional act that involves lingering, cuppage, squeezing, and/or an attempt to turn the recipient into a "human puppet." (ref. professional sidekick, Bill Schulz).
According to an official of the Iranian Football Federation (which imposed a fine of $40,000.00 on the both the Charlie Cornheis-er and the unwilling Charlie Cornheis-ee):
"...this action can be considered a violation of public chastity. The punishment of this crime is prison up to two months and 74 lashes."
In the U.S. and Europe, the Charlie Cornheiser is far less serious, resulting in a fist to the face, a sexual harassment suit, or drinks and "whatever happens next."
The "Charlie Cornheiser" involves patting a fellow player on the buttocks in a seemingly innocuous manner common in any athletic celebration then sliding the hand up into the junkal region for a cheap grope.
The "Cornheiser" is not a quick, accidental contact. It is an obviously intentional act that involves lingering, cuppage, squeezing, and/or an attempt to turn the recipient into a "human puppet." (ref. professional sidekick, Bill Schulz).
According to an official of the Iranian Football Federation (which imposed a fine of $40,000.00 on the both the Charlie Cornheis-er and the unwilling Charlie Cornheis-ee):
"...this action can be considered a violation of public chastity. The punishment of this crime is prison up to two months and 74 lashes."
In the U.S. and Europe, the Charlie Cornheiser is far less serious, resulting in a fist to the face, a sexual harassment suit, or drinks and "whatever happens next."
After the goal, Tom, jumped atop the writhing mound of joyous team mates, only to find himself the recipient of a (not entirely) unwelcome Charlie Cornheiser that was so enthusiastic it required the use of a special doughnut-shaped seat cushion for the next 9 days.
Charlie Cornheiser by Mech-lecter November 3, 2011
Related Words
cornhouse • corn housing • cornhole • cornfused • Clownhouse • cornholed • conroused • Cornhogger • cornhole wallace • cockhouse
Captain Cornhole
Captain Cornhole is what you call a guy who is a BIG asshole! Simply calling someone "Captain" is enough if everyone around already knows what you are talking about about.
Captain Cornhole by htownfun August 22, 2009
Cornhole Canyon
The sequel to Brokeback Mountain. Cornhole Canyon is the second installment in a whole saga of butt-fucking cowboys.
Also, a great name for gay porn that is unrelated to Brokeback Mountain.
Also, a great name for gay porn that is unrelated to Brokeback Mountain.
Gareth: I just saw Cornhole Canyon last night.
Jalapeno: Woah, really?
Gareth: Yeah, it gave me lots of ideas of what I could do with my boy...umm girlfriend.
Jalapeno: Gay, much?
Jalapeno: Woah, really?
Gareth: Yeah, it gave me lots of ideas of what I could do with my boy...umm girlfriend.
Jalapeno: Gay, much?
Cornhole Canyon by [insert witty name here] October 4, 2009
cornhole cowboy
someone (usually a male) who is adventerous with anothers anus. in plural it usually refers to two males who are particularly gay.
cornhole cowboy by Alex Ramsay July 16, 2008
Cornhole
Cornhole by winter._.slayyy May 10, 2018
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Pink Cloud
12 step recovery jargon referring to someone new who talks about how great life is, now that they're sober. Usually meaning that the person is out of touch with reality.
The new guy seems pretty happy for a dude who has no job, no money and no family. He must be on a pink cloud.
Pink Cloud by toniwithaneye November 24, 2006
Word of the Day on August 18, 2026
Striver
The striver is an interesting phenomenon that is seen across college campuses. In essence, the striver is an over-achiever who comes from a working or middle class family. He may be an immigrant. He may have been a slacker in HS who was "born again" into an academic wunderkind. Or he may just be an over-achiever who is keeping at it.
The striver is willing to sacrifice his social life at the expense of Phi Beta Kappa and Summa Cum Laude. The striver is the guy who stays at the library long after you are gone. The striver is the guy who takes 30 credits/semester and considers anything below an A/4.0 failure. The striver doesn't work on campus, he is too busy finding ways to pad his resume instead of working retail or workstudy. The striver lets his grades pay his education by applying to ten scholarships a year.
The striver is a future Soros/Fullbright/Rhodes/Gates/Marshall/etc. fellow. The striver lives to study. For the striver, their fun comes from the rewards they expect to receive in return for their diligence. Be it Law School, B-School, academia, or politics. The striver seeks to find the American Dream through academic success.
The striver is willing to sacrifice his social life at the expense of Phi Beta Kappa and Summa Cum Laude. The striver is the guy who stays at the library long after you are gone. The striver is the guy who takes 30 credits/semester and considers anything below an A/4.0 failure. The striver doesn't work on campus, he is too busy finding ways to pad his resume instead of working retail or workstudy. The striver lets his grades pay his education by applying to ten scholarships a year.
The striver is a future Soros/Fullbright/Rhodes/Gates/Marshall/etc. fellow. The striver lives to study. For the striver, their fun comes from the rewards they expect to receive in return for their diligence. Be it Law School, B-School, academia, or politics. The striver seeks to find the American Dream through academic success.
Anthony was a striver. He transfered from a TTT to an IVY and graduated in 2 years. He studied his ass off and went to Penn Law. He got a Biglaw offer. But lost it all because of an unmoderated mesasgeboard.
Successful strivers:
- Barack Obama
- Harold Koh
Successful strivers:
- Barack Obama
- Harold Koh
Striver by URM Striver January 3, 2009
Word of the Day on August 15, 2026