the act of taking a crap while masterbating to save time
computer nerds do it most often while taking a break from WOW or halo or any other of that stupid shit
Joe: "Hey guys, I was thinking of going spike hunting and sitting onthe biggest one! Wanna join?"
Bob: "Yea! Sounds like a swell time. Anthony come hold hands with me and Joe while we sit on tons of spikes!"
Anthony: "Sounds enticing, but I think I'll hold down the fort and chawsterbate while you and Corynn are out of the room."
to masturbate and cry at the same time. Usually performed by male graduate students in the sciences or engineering. Common causes include: no women around, ugliness, poverty, stress, being dumped, etc.