Top definition
The art of crying while you masturbate.
Hey man, That sucks that Sarah dumped you but you can stop locking you self in the bathroom to crysterbate, tears wont get you off any faster
by leTed July 29, 2008
Get the mug
Get a Crysterbate mug for your friend Manley.
2
To masturbate whilst sobbing in a torrid combination of lust and anguish. Presumably a growing trend among the emo crowd.
The night Becky broke up with me I got home and just crysterbated to old pictures of her for hours until I finally passed out in my computer chair, still gripping my dick in my tear/semen stained hands.
by Mo Higgins May 24, 2007
Get the mug
Get a crysterbate mug for your mama Beatrix.
3
Verb: To Crysterbate

Cry-sterbating is when a guy stands in a corner, crying using his own tears as lube while he jerks off sobbing, nuts into a teaspoon, drinks the nut because he's low on zinc, and then sits in the fetal position rocking back and forth wondering "When the hell did my life get so depressing?" Then he remembers and does it all again. Just like shampoo directions, rinse, wash, and repeat.

Billy: Wheres Dillon?

Josh: He's probably at home cry-sterbating again
Dillon tends to crysterbate instead of masturbating because his life is so fucked up. Plus he's low on zinc.
via giphy
by Trip Wilson May 30, 2017
Get the mug
Get a Crysterbate mug for your cat Jerry.
4
crysterbating is when girls get really upset about getting broken up with and masturbate while tears are streaming down their face into their cunts and moistening their clitoris.

you're welcome.
Jenny was devastated after Joe dumped her. As she sat on her bed, sobbing uncontrollably, she realized her tears had soaked through her panties, moistening her clitoris into a swollen, tender state. She could no longer control her urges, and began to crysterbate furiously while tears poured down her face.
by Blacc Hole January 25, 2010
Get the mug
Get a crysterbate mug for your Aunt Nathalie.
5
"Dude, you hear Bob's gf broke up with him last night before sex?"

"Yeah, he's probably in a crysterbate session right now."
by Zokwhat April 28, 2014
Get the mug
Get a crysterbate mug for your fish Larisa.