because jesus 

Used (usually sarcastically) to "explain" why homosexuality/LGBT/abortion/marijuana/brown people/citizens of countries other than the US/what have you is "bad".

Imaginary interviewer to Pat Robertson: "Why are you so opposed to the rapidly expanding normalization of non-traditional sex roles?"
Robertson: "Because Jesus."

because jesus by TheThroat October 4, 2017

The Pharisees hated Jesus because he told them the truth. 

A way of saying "You know I'm right" when someone gets angry at you for speaking the truth. According to scripture, the Pharisees were a group of Jewish elders in Judea (the name of Israel under Roman occupation) who took every chance they could get to catch Jesus and his disciples lacking.

Virgin Woke Urbanist: Amtrak is bad! travel cross-country by air! Or on a Greyhound bus!

Chad Nerd: Actually, there's nothing wrong with Amtrak, and aside from Greyhound, they were picking up the slack during the recent airline meltdowns.

VWU: NO! SHUT UP! THAT'S NOT TRUE!

CN: The Pharisees hated Jesus because he told them the truth.

The Pharisees hated Jesus because he told them the truth. by Stupidly Sophisticated January 15, 2023

fuck me in the ass because i love jesus 

Your man is un-pleased with you, but you dont want to lose your virginity till marriage. So the best song ever was created Named "Fuck me in the ass because i love Jesus"

DID YOU HEAR SAMANTHA GOT FUCKED IN THE ASS BC SHE LOVES JESUS???
Fuck me in the ass because i love Jesus: You low key a hoe but still want to be loved

fuck me in the ass because i love jesus by Pussy Poppin hand stand 69 April 10, 2017

Because I'm Jesus 

How Jesus sasses the Pharisees or makes them stfu

Pharisees: "Can you stop claiming to be God!"
Jesus: "No, I am God because I'm Jesus"
Pharisees: "We hate this guy so much"

Because I'm Jesus by ImHell666 May 30, 2018

Fuck me in the ass because I love Jesus 

What I scream at my friends

“Fuck me in the ass because I love Jesus! Fuck me jerry FUCK ME”

Fuck me in the ass because I love Jesus by Chicken nugget lover April 24, 2018

Fuck me in the ass because I love Jesus 

I thing that I scream a lot even know I’m a atheist.

Me:”FUCK ME IN THE ASS BECAUSE I LOVE JESUS”
Friends:*laugh*

Fuck me in the ass because I love Jesus by HeyItsR13 September 4, 2018