beached as 

Basically to be screwed. Originates from a YouTube video parodying the NZ accent. Made by a pair of Australians, the video shows a cartoon whale 'beached'. He says to a passing bird 'Oh no man, I'm beached as!'

'I'm missed the last bus home, I'm beached as'

beached as by cabbagetreekiwi February 24, 2009

Beached As 

when you are stuck on a beach in New Zealand, and you are a whale talking to a Seagull. Also refers to a bucket of water and a hose to get wet asap, and planktooon. Mostly this ends up in fish and chups.
On a side note, Whales cant chew.

I'm beached as bro!

Beached As by Dson001 January 8, 2009

(as) fat as a beached whale 

very fat, exceedingly obese

My older half-sister in law was as fat as a beached whale.

(as) fat as a beached whale by Light Joker December 6, 2004

Beached Ass 

Word given a old fat ladies ass on granddaddy's head. This usally evolves some kind of anal penetration with the tongue.

1.Please Muffy can ya get this Beached Ass offa ma face ya dam whore.
2.Come on Greg can I beach my ass on your mouth?

Beached Ass by Tim the Gardener May 13, 2003

Bleached Asshole 

An asshole that has undergone cosmetic processes to make it lighter. The practice follows from the anuses of women in "mens magazines" being "retouched," and women in strip clubs and other asshole-bearing lines of work wanting to appear clean.

Actual procedures used vary, but there are numerous products available to the consumer, as well as from the spa industry.

Heather used an awkward combination of mirrors as she simultaneously pulled apart her buttcheeks, bent over, and had a good look at her newly bleached asshole.

Bleached Asshole by Sungo June 8, 2007

beachead assault

to have sex on the beach rough style

martin had got joanne drunk that evening,in the beachside bar with the intention of ramming her gash, as hed led her down the steps onto the beach he knew he was gong to perform a beachead assault

beachead assault by shaftus1 January 3, 2011

Sometimes what appears to be a star is just a bleached asshole. 

All that glitter ain't gold.

'I always looked up to that teacher of mine, because he seemed like such a nice guy, but he put me on blast in front of everyone.''Well, you know what they say: sometimes what appears to be a star is just a bleached asshole.'

Sometimes what appears to be a star is just a bleached asshole. by EgoÏk April 23, 2014