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Beached: short for beached whale; is a person known for excessive lying, obviously untrue and arrogant statements (i.e. 'I'm just one of those people that's good at everything'), and general beachedness. They will lie upon the beach of life for eternity.
Why does that kid suck at everything?' 'Don't mind him he's just beached as shit.
by WilliamEKennedy August 10, 2010
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1. A term used to describe someone that is naive or delusional, while outwardly arrogant and self-assured. Because of this unwarranted self-assuredness, people who are beached fail to recognize their flaws. Essentially, they will forever lie on the beach of life.

2. Also used to describe douches in general; specifically the unnecessary douchey acts they commit.
1. Speaker 1: "Does that kid realize he's going nowhere in life?"

Speaker 2: "No, he's pretty beached."

2. Speaker 1: "Remember when Rich threatened to break Dave's nose over a game of Risk?"

Speaker 2: "Yeah, that was super beached."
by Michael B. Wang September 29, 2010
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adj. To be so unresponsive, that one becomes almost like a beached whale. Largely due to excessive intake of alcohol or marijuana. See also hammered and blitzed.
Man 1: Hey, what did you do last night?
Man 2: Man, I got messed up pretty bad. I was just laying on my buddies couch staring at the people walking by. I guess you could say i was beached.
by retrokid23 March 08, 2006
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This happens when one is takeing a shit on the crapper and the turd ends up laying on the porcelin out of the water.
Man-Hey I was cleaning up after the party we had last night and someone beached in the down stairs toilet!

Friend-You dont mean?

Man-Yep the motherfucker was out of the water laying on the porcelin.
by troubledemon April 01, 2009
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Something that's washed-up, overdone, played-out, used up, worn-out.
"Crocs are beached."

"I'm feeling pretty beached right now"

"That club is beached."
by EricD0191 August 22, 2008
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To insult or offend someone you are close to or are friendly with, unprovoked.

To drop a nuclear-insult on someone, with no prior warning, for no reason.

--often followed by immediately walking away after issuing the insult and ignoring any commentary or reply from the victim.
Dusty (walks into your office without knocking): You're pretty gay today. I'm sure your dad's proud, since he likes the dong, too. (turns on his heel and leaves)

Victim (stammering): ...wha...well...hey! Your dad like to...shit. Too late. He walked away.

Victim's Office Mate: just got beached!
by Ottoman Humper June 14, 2010
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