assisistic 

pertaining to and or being an ass

I was acting very assisistic

assisistic by valenzuela simmons September 23, 2008

asstistic 

'ass-TIST-ik'. Noun. A statistic that is 'pulled out of one's ass', or made to sound valid but is actually made up.
'asstistical' and 'asstistically' are the adjective and adverbial forms respectively.

Bob: I read about some college did a study that found when monkeys were given marijuana they learned to solve puzzles faster than the ones that weren't.
Fred: What college was that - Asstistic University?

asstistic by oolong August 19, 2006

Assistication 

When you're at a restaurant and you order a main course meal only to find that the size of the dish is too big for you to finish, you ask a friend to assisticate you.

A conjunction of the word "assist" and "mastication".

They finish off the meal you paid thirty bucks for so you don't waste your money.

Rebecca: "This burger is the size of my head. Paige, will you assisticate me?"
Paige: "This is too much assistication to ask for."

Assistication by pastrychefsniper January 27, 2010

Askististics

Your level of ass kising relative to others in your office or workgroup.

With the new boss coming Jon's level of askististics is going to be reset to zero with the new guy, so get ready for some major ass kissing.

Askististics by Brickprick January 18, 2011