asstistic

'ass-TIST-ik'. Noun. A statistic that is 'pulled out of one's ass', or made to sound valid but is actually made up.
'asstistical' and 'asstistically' are the adjective and adverbial forms respectively.

Bob: I read about some college did a study that found when monkeys were given marijuana they learned to solve puzzles faster than the ones that weren't.
Fred: What college was that - Asstistic University?

by oolong August 20, 2006