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Gen Z “Real” Alt Kid

Some of the most annoying little shits on the internet. Typically claims to be punk or goth or metal or any other subculture that was really big like 40 years ago. They discover 1 song from Dead Kennedys, the Cure, Mayhem, or any other edgy band from the 70s-90s and try to act like their music taste is superior to that of their peers. Snobby and pompous as fuck and usually won’t shut the fuck up about how emo trap/dark trap artists like Lil Peep, $uicideboy$, and Ghostemane aren’t “real punk” or “real metal” or “real goth” even though nobody around them actually thinks that or says that. They mock dead artists’ deaths just simply because they don’t like them and then suddenly act like they give a shit about humanitarianism when someone makes fun of Joey Jordison or Rozz Williams. Overall, they’re quite hypocritical and annoying as shit! If they catch you posting a story of you listening to one Ecco2k track while wearing black clothes, they will try to send you playlists of bands that you probably already know and like such as the Cure, Orchid, Slipknot, etc. but they still think you’re intellectually inferior to them for liking rap music (which may or may not be racially charged…). If you think you might be a Gen Z “Real Alt” Kid, don’t worry. It’s perfectly okay to like punk rock, metal, goth, emo, etc. It’s just bullshit to put genres and subcultures into a static box and not let artists evolve their sound or fans their fashion style without throwing a pussy fit.
Drainer kid: “I love bladee he’s such a good artist!”

Gen Z “real” alt kid: “BLADEE IS NOT REAL EMO!!!1!1! REAL EMO CONSISTS OF THE 1980—“

Drainer kid: “Oh my God nobody fucking gives a shit go outside.”

Emo kid: “Yeah tf??? You literally think you’re better than us cos u like the same music as my mom and dad and uncle and you dress like a character from The Breakfast Club. Don’t be a dick, bro.”

Drainer kid: “You’re kinda cool! Wanna go listen to the new Underoath album?”

Emo kid: “Hell yea man!”

Gen Z “real” alt kid: *unintelligible screaming noises upon hearing an underoath fan call himself emo*

esc F1 F2 F3 F4 F5 F6 F7 F8 F9 F10 F11 F12 insert delete ` 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 0 - = tab q w e r t y u i o p [ ] \ capslock a s d f g h j k l shift z x c v b n m , . / shift ctrl fn alt space alt ctrl 

This is the peak of bordom, you decide that qwertyuiopasdfghjklzxcvbnm wasen't enough, and poiuytrewqlkjhgfdsamnbvcxz, and also qazsedcftgbhujmkol, and awsxdrfvgyhnjiklp, etc etc,
Person 1: bro im so boreddddddddddddddddddddd,
Person 2: have you tried esc F1 F2 F3 F4 F5 F6 F7 F8 F9 F10 F11 F12 insert delete ` 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 0 - = tab q w e r t y u i o p \ capslock a s d f g h j k l shift z x c v b n m , . / shift ctrl fn alt space alt ctrl?
Person 1: OMFG DID YOU NOT READ THE PATCH NOTES??
person 2: wdym?
person 1: IF YOU SAY SOME WORDS THAT ARE TOO LONG YOU-
*person 2 explodes

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You are half dead and took forever to type this. To do this type every key on the keyboard like f1 F1 key or win (windows button key) Dont press all of these keys
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Esc F1 F2 F3 F4 F5 F6 F7 F8 F9 F0 F11 F12 PrtScSysRq PauseBreak Ins Del `~1!2@3#4$5%6^7&8*9(0)-_=+ Backspace Home Tab qwertyuiop[{]}\| Pg Up Caps Lock asdfghjkl;:'" Enter Pg Dn Shift zxcvbnm,<.>/? Shift End Crtl Fn Alt Alt Gr Crtl

I'm Esc F1 F2 F3 F4 F5 F6 F7 F8 F9 F0 F11 F12 PrtScSysRq PauseBreak Ins Del `~1!2@3#4$5%6^7&8*9(0)-_=+ Backspace Home Tab qwertyuiop{}\| Pg Up Caps Lock asdfghjkl;:'" Enter Pg Dn Shift zxcvbnm,<.>/? Shift End Crtl Fn Alt Alt Gr Crtl, i don't know what to do.
Wandering or standing around aimlessly as if you are suffering from Alzheimer's disease, usually because you are drunk or under the influence of drugs.
fuck me, Brad's had a heavy night, he's altzing badly this morning. see (monging)
altzing by sipukka December 31, 2015
Short for alternative. Description of a person who looks "alternative". Signs of an altzy person is thickrimmed glasses, dyed hair, alternative clothing style.
Kyle Lonkard has the hots for altzy girls.
altzy by Kyle Lonk May 2, 2010
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briefcake 

"Did you check out the briefcake in courtroom C?"
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Brought to public attention by Bob Woodward and Carl Bernstein in the book on the fall of Richard Nixon, All The President’s Men, ratfucker was Nixon’s term for a political operative who sows chaos among opponents; an agent provocateur. It is thought to have originated among campus political rivalries at USC, and seems to have some usage in the US military.
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countrypolitan 

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That ol' gal of mine drives the 12 lane freeway during the week and a John Deere on the weekends. She likes opra and the Grand Ol' Opry. I love them countrypolitan women.
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Witch Bath 

A bath consisting of a variety of slats, oils, soaps or any other added ingredients such as fruits, milks, herbs or any other spices for health or beautifying benifits.
She brought home alot of stuff and took it to the bathroom. She must be taking a witch bath.
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kinktober 

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Smut Fanfiction
That chick doesn't write often but when she does, its for Kinktober.
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Word of the Day on October 30, 2026

proper lad 

a lad that is such a lad that he is a proper lad
person1:did you see bob
person2: ya he was a proper lad
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