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A Jerk-off 

2 or more men set off on a competition to see which man ejaculates first. The contest measures the following: amount of ejaculate, quality of the specimen, and naturally, smell. similar to boxing regulations, there are many variations of the rules and often has no clear cut winner, but unlike boxing, everyone wins in the end.
your loads are pathetic, I challenge you to a jerk-off !
A Jerk-off by B-dones September 16, 2018

A Jerk-Off Jehova Witness 

noun: person: A Jerk-off Jehova Witness is somebody who only texts or calls you when he's jerking off, and doesn't ever want to actually meet. He is annoying and comes a-knocking at the times that are convenient only to them.
Mike only ever calls me when he's jerking off. I offer to make plans so we can both get off, but something always comes up. He's such a jerk-off jehova. aka. a Jerk-Off Jehova Witness

catch a jerk 

Zach went to bathroom to “catch a jerk”
catch a jerk by Candaster March 10, 2022

You're a jerk 

A common war call from scientologists, specifically Tom Cruise. When alarmed, or squirted in the face with a fake microphone by a fake reporter from a British version of Punk'd, these hairless apes will go into a rampage shouting phrases such as "You're a jerk" and "That’s incredibly rude!"

2. A comical reference to Tom Cruise
Reporter- Hey Tom Cruise, can i ask you some questions?
Cruise- Sure
Reporter- *squirts cruise with water from fake microphone* Haha just kidding
Cruise- How incredibly rude! I gave you my time, You're a jerk!
You're a jerk by Sami B May 23, 2006

kirk-a-jerk 

A prank pulled on your friends, where you grab one by the shoulders and forcefully ram your knee into their anus. Patented by the famous Aaron Kirk. One may confuse a kirk-a-jerk with farting while having a penis in your anus.
"I saw kaps doing some kind of bodybuilding bullshit, so i took the opportunity to give him one good kirk-a-jerk. Man did he yelp"

your a jerk 

a song by the new boyz which is very common among teenagers. it also goes with a dance.
ayy thats my song! your a jerk! your a jerk! i know!
your a jerk by rick james beyatch October 24, 2009
More from Urban Dictionary

square grouper

Nickname given to bales of marijuana thrown overboard or out of airplanes. Origin is reportedly from members of the US Coast Guard in the area of Southern Florida.
"Base we've got some square groupers floating outside of Miami harbor."
square grouper by slipsheet November 6, 2004
Word of the Day on October 7, 2026
A girl who does ballet and only talks about ballet. Her schedule is filled with dance classes which does not allow her to do any other activity.
"Hey, do you know that girl Sally?"

"Yeah, she's kind of annoying. All she ever talks about it ballet."

"Wow, what a Bunhead."

"Hey Sally, you want to hang out this weekend?"
"I can't, I have dance."
"You're such a Bunhead."

"Yeah... I know."
Bunhead by Jen00 October 24, 2014
Word of the Day on October 6, 2026

trucker's tan 

A sunburn or suntan focused on the left arm. It is caused by the left side of the body being the only half that gets exposed to sunlight while driving. Presumably, it would be located on the right side of the body in countries where they drive on the left side of the road.
I had a trucker's tan after driving for 10 straight hours on a sunny day.
Word of the Day on October 5, 2026
The phenomenon where adults salivate at children's toys
Every time I walk into the toy aisle, I catch myself kidulting over the latest action figures and LEGO sets!
kidulting by Emotional Cruiser October 12, 2025
Word of the Day on October 4, 2026
British slang for a scientist or technical expert, esp . when the speaker is not certain of the expert’s specific field of study. Not necessarily derogatory, but typically used by persons without a technical background. In the US, the equivalent would be “egghead”, “squint”, or “geek.”

Origin of the word is unknown. Started sometime in World War 2. Given the typical evolution of British slang, could easily have started because what these experts did was confusing or “baffling” to the common person.
According to the boffins downstairs, the murderer used a serrated blade.
Boffin by Agnon February 11, 2023
Word of the Day on October 3, 2026

Pee Calculus

When you have to pee in a movie but don’t want to miss anything, and must do the following mental equation: will the amount I have to pee cause enough discomfort to diminish my attention capacity for the remainder of the movie to an extent which is greater than the amount of the movie I would miss by making a mad dash to the restroom.
I saw Satantango last night, wonderful film but by the 5th hour I had to start doing pee calculus.
Pee Calculus by anorlondo October 1, 2026
Word of the Day on October 2, 2026
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