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Don't look at me with that tone of voice

An expression used to describe how someone is standing or, acting wile looking at you in a intense way , generally in a negative way .
I was walking with my girlfriend and I checked out another chick . I looked back at her and she looked pissed. I responded to her don't look at me with that tone of voice ! You we're looking at her to.

don't fuck with the payroll 

don't sleep with anyone in the workplace. Doing so may cause awkward encounters at work and your colleagues thinking you're easy.
I told you don't fuck with the payroll Jacky

couldn't find his ass with two hands 

Someone who does not have a clue about what is going on around them. A person that has to have jokes explained to them. Even worse, someone that acts as if they don't understand something even when they understand perfectly.
That jerkoff Devlin couldn't find his ass with two hands .

Don't mess with texas 

The true meaning of this phrase: It's an ANTI-LITTERING ADVERTISING CAMPAIGN started by the Texas Department of Transportation! See www (dot) dontmesswithtexas (dot) org.
It's an anti-littering campaign that has helped remove trash from Texas roadways by reminding people to clean up after themselves, so don't mess with Texas or you'll get a huge fine!
Don't mess with texas by Txgirl January 11, 2008

don't mess with Texas 

It actually is a phrase that means the same as "Give A Hoot, Don't Pollute". It is on "Do not litter" signs in the state of Texas.
Man reading sign: Don't mess with Texas.
Other guy: What the fuck does that mean?
Man: I'm not sure, but I don't think we should be throwing these dead bodies here by the look of this sign. It says littering is a $500 fine.
Other guy: Shit.

don't fuck with this senator 

*jack getting kicked in the balls*
Armstrong: DON'T FUCK WITH THIS SENATOR