Wank monkey

A person that is socially inept and yet full of themselves.

Someone whose only source of conversation is themselves and the things they get up to.

The word derives from the common word for masturbation and monkey, the animal that uses aggressive displays to prove their social status.

It occurred to me as I heard about Nikki's time as a stripper that she was a huge wank monkey.

by Alan-O September 26, 2007

Monkey Wank

Pleasuring oneself with the feet, whilst swinging in a tyre.

I'm off home for a banana, a few nuts and a monkey wank.

by Borthers February 21, 2007

monkey wank

when you knock one out whilst up a tree.

eg i got bored last night so i climbed a tree and had a monkey wank

by lokimike October 26, 2008

Monkey Wank

The act of masturbating whilst making loud monkey noises, such as 'ooooh eeeh ah ah ah oooh ahh ahhh!'

''Christy was screaming last night in his room. I think he was having a monkey wank!''

by PdizDog November 27, 2011

monkey wank

1. A situation note entirely going the desired way.

2. Of something which is totally useless.

As the chief engineer watched the new bridge come crashing down on its first opening plunging 100 cars and occupents into the river below, he was heard to comment "This is turning into a pile of stale monkey wank"

by Norbert Colon October 15, 2004