Velvevil is a synonym for the Kraft product
Velveeta cheese, generally used by those who recognize its detrimental impact on health but cannot resist the
processed cheese food. Velveeta is a shelf-stable block of bright yellow cheese product with a low
melting point.
Pronounced Velv/evil, to have a similar sound to Velveeta.
Ted: This dip is fabulous, Brianna! What's in it?
Brianna: Oh, some tomatoes... beans... and (mumbles)
Ted: What?
Brianna: Don't worry about it--just enjoy.
But then... Ted spies the telltale
yellow brick package
in the kitchen trash. He gasps.
Ted: Brianna! You used Velvevil?!
Brianna: I know I shouldn't have, but...
Ted eats another chip with dip.
Brianna: See? You cannot resist the Velvevil.
Ted: When I'm the hospital with a
heart attack, visit me.
Ted proceeds to completely decimate the dip.
