What's fuckin' next!? First we miss the connecting flight, then we must pull-drag our luggage through urine soaked streets; of course the hotel A/C is shot, we get 'the shits' from drinking local water and then the REAL Turdventure begins!
A turdometer is an instrument used for accurately measuring the exact physical properties of a turd. The turdometer can measure length, diameter, circumference, mass and density.
Turdometers are used extensively by turdologists