The Keys 

Dirty ass island chain off the coast of Florida. There is nothing to do unless you are a 60 year old boomer from Minnesota who likes to get wasted on a boat. Every single store is a tourist trap with the exception of Dollar Tree. Every single house is built on stilts, has crushed rock covering the whole yard, a boat out back, a manatee or fish mailbox, and a Lets Go Brandon or Trump 2024 flag flying. The islands are so narrow you can walk from one end to the other in a 50 seconds. You are isolated on a little island with a bunch of drunk old White people.

The Keys are a Midwestern retirement community for unrepentant alcoholics. And then the Cuban refs are on stock island.

The Keys by B52C69007 March 2, 2022

Covenant of the Keys 

when a neighbor is entrusted with a set of keys in case one gets locked out of their apartment. The covenant provides the following ;

1) thou shalt not use the keys to obtain food from thy neighbors' refrigerator
2) thou shalt not use thy neighbors' bathroom unless first asking permission (even if yours is broken)
3) thou definitely shalt not be in thy neighbors' apartment when said neighbor is bringing home a date
4) if thy covenant is broken, then the offending party must pack up his/her belongings and move to California where he/she will probably end up being accused of murder (see The Ten Commandments )

Covenant of the Keys by Jason June 30, 2004

Left the Keys in the Mailbox

1. to make a mistake or screw up in a careless or stupid manner.

2. fail to perform as expected or live up to a responsibility.

"Bill really left the keys in the mailbox on that account..."
"The Mets have once again left the keys in the mailbox this season..."

Left the Keys in the Mailbox by Chester Elkowitz November 4, 2011

asleep at the keys 

To sleep during an online conversation. This can be due to the conversation taking place late at night, being really boring, and/or the person in question being tired or (more commonly) drunk.

The term can also be used when someone is being slow at responding, should you suspect that they have fallen asleep.

At 1:34 AM:

Mr A: "...so yeah, that's the end of that epic adventure story, what do you think about that?"
Mr A: "Hello?"
Mr A: "I'm totally wasting my time and effort on this conversation aren't I?"
Mr A: "YOU'RE A SHIT FRIEND!!!"

At 7:51 AM:

Dr B: "Woah, sorry man... I was totally asleep at the keys!"

asleep at the keys by DrJonas February 15, 2010

to hold the keys 

To be the person calling the shots in a prison gang. Also called, "shot-caller".

One-Eye Billy is holding the keys while Jack is in the hole.

to hold the keys by Tizzat January 28, 2004

Got the Keys 

When someone displays his excellent pickup artist skills in a club/bar/party in a form comparable to the hit show "Keys to the VIP" based in Toronto, Canada. Got the Keys means displaying excellent pickup skill in getting numbers or hookups.

____ really has "Got the Keys" tonight eh?
= Hes a player tonight .

I "Got the Keys" tonight = Ive gotton some numbers tonight.

Got the Keys by MTL- PUA March 15, 2009

Give Me The Keys 

What you say to a drunk person so that they don't suffer a car crash

Drunk Guy: I'm gonna hom

Friend: Give me the keys, dude, you're drunk dammit

Give Me The Keys by MoisesTheSocialDemocrat August 10, 2020