Taxidermize

NOPE!!!

I am Chuck Testa and I taxidermize dead animals.

by Mattfault November 10, 2011

taxidermiphobia

An illogical or irrational fear of stuffed animals. Some sufferers may believe the mounted animals will suddenly come alive and try to attack him/her, others may think they could be impaled on horns or lacerated by claws or teeth should the piece fall on them.

Also known as taxidermy phobia.

I can't walk through the taxidermy exhibit of the Natural History Museum without sweating profusely and getting palpitations because of my taxidermiphobia.

by kreebilicus November 13, 2012

German taxidermist

Scout for Roadkill, (most preferably squirrels) search for an animal where intestines are ejected from the carcass and dirtied by the road. Pull over at the site. Before touching the animal in any other way, take a knee on the street over the dead animal and using your teeth, tear away a small piece of flesh from the abdomen serving to create a new orifice. Peel carcass from road and stuff all external offal back into the carcass. Bring home and sew shut all orifices (excluding the one you created with your teeth) to create a bag-like contraption. Over the course of several weeks, repeatedly masturbate into the open orifice, leaving all ejaculated semen in the carcass. When the carcass is visibly bloated with semen, (and sufficiently decomposed) squeeze all contents into frying pan and fry the carcass therein. Eat with salt and garden vegetables.

I have been preparing a German Taxidermist dinner for about two and a half weeks to serve at my wedding.

by plyd011 December 24, 2010

Turd taxidermist

One who mounts exceptional specimens of rectal release.

Bubba was full of crap. Although many people suspected it, no one knew for sure.. Thanks to the local turd taxidermist, he is able to stand proud and hold his own.

by Jeff & Lori March 27, 2007

Taxidermist

1: a craftsman who shoots stuffs and mounts the skins of dead animals that are often protected species

2: a skin-care specialist for taxi drivers

1: it died of natural causes...honest

2: so exactly how long have you been sitting down?

by Mr Cheese April 24, 2005

Taxiderming

Verb: The in-process state of performing taxidermy.

When I was taxiderming that homeless fellow, I could have sworn he winked at me.

My mother always gets mad because I stay down in the basement taxiderming little animals. She says it's creepy.

by L3pr3chaun March 8, 2011

Taxadermized

NOPE Chuck Testa

Is that deer real?
Nope it was taxadermized by Chuck Testa.

by NotChuckTesta October 1, 2011