Staturbate 

To become sexually aroused by ones score in a video game

I staturbated all over my laptop after a 33-0 game of valorant

Staturbate by Bill <3 Epstein July 24, 2020

Sadurbate 

The act of masturbating because you're sad and have nothing else to do.

Don't go into my room, Summer just broke up with me and I'm going to go sadurbate.

Sadurbate by Definitely_Not_DJ April 14, 2014

shasturbate 

The act of masturbating while defecating.

I was in such a rush this morning that I was forced to shasturbate,.

shasturbate by vink pink February 10, 2005

Sadturbate

Masturbating while sad

My girlfriend broke up with me today. I sadturbated three times.

Sadturbate by Tubbyfatty October 19, 2014

statusbaiter 

A person who intentionally publishes a vague status on Facebook or Twitter in a desperate attempt to solicit comments and responses. Could also be known as a "Twitterbaiter."

Status: "Jimmy A. wonders why he even bothers sometimes..."

Response 1: "me too, bro. life sux."
Response 2: "I keep tellin you give up on that chick."
Response 3: "Why bother with what? Is everything okay, Jimmy?"
Response 4: "Stop statusbaiting ya statusbaiter."

statusbaiter by contradictioneffect March 30, 2009

Saturbating 

The act of spending an exorbent amount of time looking at ones own personal accomplishments statistics.

Often a co-worker who is always checking out their own sales numbers or sales stats.

Or the friend who wants to see their all the stats at the end of your favorite multi-player video game(i.e. Halo, Gears of War, Rock Band, etc.).

Joe: Alright lets go on to the next round of the game...

Frank: Wait dude I want to see how many head shots I got that round.... Woa I killed Bill 18 times...Jim you suck....

Joe: Alright Frank quit saturbating lets go...

Saturbating by munciemike May 23, 2009

shiturbate 

The act of masturbating while taking a shit.

Thomas missed the meeting because he decided to shiturbate.

shiturbate by Fuzzy Buttons December 15, 2013