Snailbaker 

The kid who has discalcula and is bad at video games

Damn nigga this nerd 's last name is snailbaker

Snailbaker by Mr.Kaylor March 14, 2019

Snailblazer 

n: a person who may not be fast moving or fast talking but who is making a difference in the world in their own way (possibly quietly and/or nearly imperceptibly). Akin to a trailblazer, except at a more relaxed pace. Responsive to snacks, kindness, reason, naps.

My childhood neighbour was a prolific knitter and a snailblazer in local craftivism.

Snailblazer by Double-oh-catlady January 11, 2023

snailgater 

A person driving behind you or in the next lane who speeds up to pass you, only to slow down to less than your speed when he does so.

I need to get out of this lane, but this fucking snailgater just sped up and blocked me in.

snailgater by SLLGs October 2, 2008

Snailbate 

when you masterbate but run out of lube or lotion then sneezing into the palms of your hand(s) using mucus as the substitute.

She was so dry to the point, where, I had to snailbate just so I’d finish” -your father

Snailbate by Daddyion April 7, 2020

snailpaper 

(n.) - the print edition of the daily newspaper which arrives in the morning on your doorstep with news that is already old and stale by at least 12 hours

"I am sick and tired of reading the snailpaper edition of the New York Times! By the time it arrives, the front page is already old news. I much prefer reading the Times online website with the up-dated news as it happens."

-- overheard at a bar in the East Village in Manhattan, November 15, 2009

snailpaper by PRwiz101 November 21, 2009

Snailbate 

Blowing your nose into your palms and using the mucus as lube to masturbate

I had no lube so I had to snailbate.

Snailbate by De air he in is gay April 21, 2020