Ship Captain

The ship captain is the person in the fam or your friend group that keeps shipping everybody in the freakin' friend group regardless of whether or not they would make a good couple and also regardless of their sexuality. They are the captain of shipping people, thus known as the ship captain. If you have a ship captain in your fam or friend group then I feel bad for you son. Jk. Ship captains are also really good friends because of their determination, understanding, and total lack of selfishness. Ship captains are usually the leader or the glue of the friend group. If the ship captain feels that a ship is sinking, he or she will immediately abandon ship and get a new ship because they need a ship to commandeer. Ship captains always have a reason to explain how their ship would make a good couple. If you're targeted by a ship captain then good luck because they're like paparazzi and they won't stop following you and your shipmate everywhere and teasing you, thus bringing you closer together, which usually works after what I've seen from what the ship captain has done to my friends and their ships. You can have multiple ship captains in a friend group. But one way to identify the true captain is to check their phone and see if you can find pictures of his/her targets, either photoshopped or edited or real. Also, if they smirk proudly at the mention of one of their ships.

Caden: ugh I've been targeted
Me: Great who's the ship captain this time, it wasn't me
Caden: Grace
Me: Oh ya Grace is a really persistent ship captain
Grace: *runs over* Kate look at this amazing pic I've got
*Pic is an edited photo of Caden and Mackenzie*
Caden: oh my gawd
Me: NICE JOB GRACE
Caden: Youre such a ship captain
Grace: Youre welcome CADENZIE
Caden: UAEDGJKVziucjdkfcvUISRJGKfxbaioaerlkngd
Me: LOL

by KkMoikK July 17, 2018

I'M THE CAPTAIN OF THIS SHIP!

Famous quote that COD MW2 player Strixal repeatedly shouts out in-game to noobs he schools.

Noob - "I'm awesome, I will pwn u all!"
(Strixal kills Noob x 9999 times)
~ Silence ~
Strixal - "I'M THE CAPTAIN OF THIS SHIP!"

by TheLastRambo August 5, 2010

Captain of the Carpet Ship

A title bestowed upon one who is drunk and passed out on the floor, like they are piloting the carpet.

Shit, man! You were Captain of the Carpet Ship last night.

by Dr. Badwrench September 22, 2006

Ship, captain, and crew

Noun, can be used as a verb: The act of inserting one's penis into a rectum. This is the ship. Upon the successful entry of said penis, one will insert the first (perferred) of two testicles. This is the captain. Upon the boarding of the ship this captain will ultimately need his crew. At this time the lesser of two testicles will be inserted. Once this has happened you have won the "pot" ... As in her anus.

I went to a dinner party with a date and asked if the ship, captain, and crew could come along.

by Kap'n KP April 20, 2016

Captain goes down with the ship

Similar to Jump on the Grenade. An instruction to someone that they have to score with the ugly girl (the ship, especially a fat, ship sized minger), so that there friends can pull the hot ones.
From the naval tradition that a captain should not flee a sinking ship but shoud instead stay and drown.

Captain Goes down with the ship Sam. come on youll enjoy it as much as Helga will.

by Cillie October 29, 2005

the captain of the ship

when doing a girl from behind you both keep from touching anything, including each other. the man then guides the woman around the room without knocking anything over. if you can make it around the room and reach orgasm without breaking something you are then the captain of the ship. Note: it is not necessary for the girl to orgasm. that never really matters anyway.

After forty five minutes of "Piloting the S.S. Kacie's Sister" around the room, and not striking a single "mine", other than the pink one, Christian bellowed "I am the Captain of the Ship!"

by Samuel T. March 29, 2008