To live a life with such shitty luck, that a triple amputee, diabetic Ethiopian would not want to trade places with you. Eventually this situation
will lead you to have the excitement level of Eyore, and the pessimism of Piglet, resulting in your weeping quietly to yourself every morning after you've realized you did not
die in your
sleep.
After sneezing into a girl's face after your allergy medication fails to work you decide to give the gift of a stuffed animal. Then on the way to buy the gift, your
car's windshield cracks after you turn on the
heat. Once in the parking lot of K-mart, you are
hit by a
car, driven by a poor person, allowing you no retribution what so ever. You are then left on the ground of the K-mart parking lot, in a puddle of your own urine and tears, Scheponiked without a prayer.