1. To slow or inhibit forward movement or progress to the point of stagnation and ultimately, death.
2. The act of drawing someone's attention away from something, or to deflect.
3. The polar opposite of helpful.
According to Donald Trump, Hillary Clinton got schlonged by Barack Obama in the 2008 democratic presidential primary. This is akin to getting screwed; slighted; severely whooped; underhandedly beaten; having your ass handed to you ,etc.
She (Hillary) was gonna beat (Obama), she was favored to win (the 2008 Democratic presidential primary), and she got schlonged, she lost.
While our lifespan is the number of years we will live, our healthspan is the number of healthy years we will have and our sexspan is is the number of years we will continue to be healthy enough to continue having an active sex life.
A lighthearted reaction upon receiving disappointing news of some sort. Usually something that isn't a particularly a big deal, esp. when it primarily affects someone else - sort of a mild schadenfreude. Sometimes doubled or tripled, and possibly said in a sing-songy voice for added comedic effect to imitate a muted trumpet, which is how the meme originated.
A phenomenon in film/television series, most notably streaming series, where the main premise is drawn out to such a point that it takes an entire season or more to get the parts of the series the audience is actually interested in seeing.
For example, if a series is titled "Surf Dracula," a majority of viewers would tune in expecting to see Dracula surfing by the first or second episode. However, the entire first season would instead be tedious padding and backstory before finally ending with Dracula surfing in the last five minutes of the season finale.
I watched "Smallville" on Netflix the other day. Dude, it was ten seasons of filler before he finally flew! Major Surf Dracula Syndrome!