Qump 

A simple word to describe a "quick dump". This can be anything from quickly making extra space for dinner, to a seriously bad case of diarrhoea.

Boss: Jenkins. You're late, again.
Me: I'm sorry Sir, I had to have a qump.
Boss: Ahh, very well then. Lets begin today's meeting...

Qump by Jefferson Jenkins Jnr. August 16, 2011

Qump 

To ejaculate into the belly button of a woman and then proceed to dip crinkle cut chips into the 'Qump' and then consume said cheap.

Example 1:
Dave: Hey Caleb, Do you wanna go get a sandwich?
Caleb: Nah I'm already full from the qump I had earlier.

Example 2:
Caleb: Man last night we tried the qump with salt and vinegar chips and it was great!
Dave: Oh dude I need to try that.

Qump by Sir Jerksalotmorethanyou June 13, 2022

Qumpf 

A person who loiters around libraries waiting for young girls to dismount their bicycles so they can sniff the saddle!

A dirty weird pervert

Qumpf by Jimmy Saville November 28, 2003

Qumpkin 

The act of recieving oral sex from a woman while taking a shit and listening to Queen.

My wife gave me a Qumpkin for our anniversary. Now, I can't listen to Bohemian Rhapsody without getting a boner.

Qumpkin by The_Champions January 25, 2011

Qumph 

A Person Who Dodgily Hangs Out Outside Public Libraries And Wait For Girls To Dismount Thier Bike Seats, The Proceeds To Sniff The Newly Departed Seat.

"dude That Guy Over There Is Totally Sniffing That Girls Bikeseat..

..Man Jeff Is Such A Qumph

Qumph by Mister Dayle August 27, 2007

Qumpie 

Similar to that of a 'Qump' however this is done in a much more communal way.
A Qumpie includes one or more women lying down with their 'Qump' (belly button full of semen) and a group of 2 or more people dipping their crinkle cut chips into the Qump like a bowl of Guacamole after they have added their loads.

Caleb: yo dude, you should have shown up last night, we had a Qumpie on Jessica after we all contributed to the Qump. It was great until we ran out of chiken crinkle cut chips.
Dave: fuck dude I knew I should have come, the misses never lets me use her as a qump.

Qumpie by Sir Jerksalotmorethanyou June 13, 2022