first, you take a massive crap on the floor beside the bed, and you have sex with your girl, as shes moaning and about to orgasm, you stop and pick up your shit and throw it at her, then cum on her leg giving you all the pleasure and her only the first half. then calmy put your clothes on and go play video games.
The nearly lost art of shitting in a purse then placing it where it will likely be found (shopping cart at a grociery store parking lot) then waiting to see the reaction of those who "find" it.
Works just as well on good samartitans as the lesser well intentioned.
You are in the bathroom to pee, and suddenly, and out of nowhere, like a phantom.. you have to poop. There was no previous sensation as if one had to defecate, it snuck in like flynn and out like a trout.