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This is characteristically known as the act of masturbating, in full sprint, in a public park or recreation area. To fully complete this act an innocent bystander must be showered with jizz as you climax in their general direction. Customarily, this constitutes a $20 fine.
"Dontrell, did you really just optimize that baby five minutes ago?" asked Tyrone. "Hell yeah," replied Dontrell, "and I'd do it again."
Optimize by Joey Orgler 2 December 28, 2007
Current of "Optimization" - to take something complicated apart, planning to make it better, usually making it worse.
I wouldn't optimize a computer unless I know what I am doing or if I don't want to use the computer again.
I’ve had my morning coffee, now I’m optimized!
Optimize by uw buddy November 27, 2023

Pirates of Optimization 

Noun, plural of Pirate of Optimization.
When a group of people come together to do a half-assed job of solving an optimization problem
"Did you see that shitty-assed Pareto of the CHP, Must have been the Pirates of Optimization."
"Yeah, those guys went to Doobie-U"
-Said while looking at the blue line

M.M. Optimization 

The idea that the Goffyistic ideal of the self can be found by optimizing the time spent in "M.M." and in "daily life" in such a way that one's social relationships are upheld.
"Jack has achieved M.M. Optimization - nobody even thinks what he's doing is stupid anymore!"

Optimized weekday after-work game plan 

Recent studies show that after leaving your 9-5, the most optimal way to spend your evening is eating Chipotle and getting a blowjob. This is statistically shown to increase levels of serotonin, endorphins, dopamine, and oxytocin.
Person 1 - Hey man, are you executing the optimized weekday after-work game plan?
Person 2 - Of course brother. I'm picking up 2 orders of chipotle at 6. Girlfriend is coming over at 6:30!
More from Urban Dictionary

pod person 

A person pretending to be something they aren't, or an impostor. This is inferred because of the old alien movies where alien pods appear on earth and the "pod people" dispose of the humans and slowly reproduce the bodies, pretending to be humans.
The pod person was pretending to be my father, but I knew that he was an alien when he acted differently than my father ever would have.
pod person by Christopher M. May 9, 2005
Word of the Day on November 10, 2026
A dead drop is a location used to secretly pass items between two people, without requiring them to meet.

Spies have been known to use dead drops, using various techniques to hide the items and to signal that the drop has been made. Drug dealers use this as well.

A common place is to duct tape the item to the underside of a toilet cover in a public restroom.

A signal is sometimes used as well to indicate there is something to pickup, like a pile of stones in a certain formation. After checking the drop the signal is removed.
"The dead drop is the restroom toilet at the Gulf station at the corner of Commercial Ave. and Georges Rd."
dead drop by rubberroom July 23, 2008
Word of the Day on November 9, 2026

No Surprises Wedding

A "No Surprises Wedding," or NSW, is a wedding invitation designation that tells attendees that there can be no unplanned announcements, engagements, events or speeches at the wedding - all actions must be pre-approved by the couple. Anyone who performs an unapproved "surprise" will be asked to leave the wedding early.

This designation comes from Reddit, where so many stories of bad wedding behavior indicated a need to communicate expectations for the wedding behavior of attendees.
You are cordially invited to the nuptials of Brian and Tom on October 31 at noon.

Please note that this wedding is child-free (under 10) and a No Surprises Wedding (NSW). Reach out to wedding planner Sami Smith to request approvals or exceptions; please note that exceptions will be rare. Limited child care for under-10s will be available. All approvals will be noted and included in planning. Unapproved, or surprise exceptions, will result in guests being asked to leave.
Word of the Day on November 8, 2026
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