my uncle 

a person who will sexually assault u anytime he sees you u better run or he will whoop your ass ,we will get his gang together and they will put u in there van .

my uncle: " hey girls wanna see my van"
girls: "no"
my uncle runs after them

my uncle by skiddddddzzzzzzz October 20, 2020

My uncle Jack's off

A very funny "childrens" book written by Bo nehr, that includes multiple references to "Veiny Necked Birds", "Big Hairy Sacks", and "White Sticky Trails". The title of the book can be misleading to some, so to clarify, the apostrophe between the K and the S is replacing the letter I, so the title of the book is actually "My Uncle Jack IS Off", for all you dirty minded schlongs out there

"I just read My Uncle Jack's Off, and laughed my shitties out!"

My uncle Jack's off by StarSoupMan June 28, 2023

My Uncle Ted

Refers to a creepy (often theoretical) person who is usually an uncle by genetics or marriage, else is a close male friend of the family who has a strong pedophilia feeling, and sometimes appears to be homosexual too. This always applies to adult men who have been accused or convicted of sexual violence/rape, child molestation, or bestiality, likes pornography, lives in a cave, is over 40 w/ a receding hairline, excessive back hair, ear hair, and nose hair, and/or gets a boner every time he see's a person under 12 years of age. These people should generally be avoided.

Person 1: "Would Chuck Norris be considered My Uncle Ted, considering he has banged every female in existence, which implies that he had a boner while around people under 12 years of-"
Incoming Roundhouse Kick: *POW*
Person 1: *Gasps for breath as he/she dies on ground*
Person 2: "That's what you get for questioning Chuck Norr-"
Incoming Roundhouse Kick: *POW*
Person 2: *Gasps for breath as he/she dies on ground*
Chuck Norris: "That's what you get for being in the presence of someone who has questioned Chuck Norris."
Incoming Roundhouse Kick: *FAIL*
Chuck Norris: "Nice try Mr T., but only I can do that." *PWNZ*

My Uncle Ted by PossumCuber October 16, 2009

My uncle works at Nintendo 

"My uncle works at Nintendo" is a facetious statement which is often jokingly used to spread false insider information about Nintendo and its upcoming projects.

People try to get others to believe that they have received insider information from their uncle who supposedly works at the video game company.

The lie is so well known that in internet culture, it has become a joke way for people to signal that any information they're about to say will be false.

My uncle works at Nintendo and he said Raiden will be a playable character in the next Super Smash Bros.

My uncle works at Nintendo by windchimejelly May 13, 2021

My uncle burt 

Well he’s my uncle and his name is Burt. I think he is my dads brother. In his 50s-60s.

“I’m going to go mini golfing with my uncle Burt, later dad!”
“You don’t have an uncle Burt!”
“Wha-“

My uncle burt by Butt-Face Magee August 22, 2018

my uncle is making the best pizza 

brutally loving dough and uncle absolutely smashing the f out of the dough

My uncle is making the best pizza
he loves it too much

my uncle is making the best pizza by Daquavious Daquan the third September 6, 2023

if my aunt had balls she'd be my uncle 

Used to describe the pointlessness of the word if. Similar to but better to use than "if ifs and buts were candy and nuts Christmas would be every day."

If I had some money I'd pay you that money back. Well if my aunt had balls she'd be my uncle.

if my aunt had balls she'd be my uncle by Adam7172 September 17, 2016