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dick metrics

Arbitrary unit of measurement used mostly by males. Derived from men overestimating their penis size.
"We got 8 inches of snow last night."

"You're using dick metrics. I just measured and we got 5 inches of snow last night."
dick metrics by MomFatale October 31, 2014

Metric Fuckton

More properly, "Metric Fucktonne." The Fuckton is the Imperial standard for the measurement of fuckweight, while the Fucktonne, in contrast, constitutes the Metric measure of fuckmass.

Generally used to imply superlative quantity with the Metric standard included to emphasise this point. The inclusion of the term is, however, fundamentally a misuse of that standard, as the Imperial Fuckton (2000 Imperial Fuckpounds) denotes a slightly greater measure of fuckweight within Earth's gravitational pull than does the Metric Fuckton (1000 Metric Fuckilograms).
I've got a Metric Fucktonne of this stuff to finish before Monday, or I'm fucked indeed.
Metric Fuckton by Yst December 12, 2004

metercrawler

noun; An imposter. A person or thing that claims to be something they are not. A similar but inferior brand.

The origin of this term can be traced back to the early days of the internet when individuals or companies would register similar domain names as more well established sites with the intention of increasing traffic due to typing errors.This is a practise that continues today.

One of the earliest examples is that of metacrawler which when typed as metercrawler would take you to a different site.
"Those guys wern't helicopter pilots, they were metercrawlers."

Andy: "Did you get the Baileys?"

Geoff: "No I got the metercrawler"
metercrawler by sooner_gooner July 12, 2009

metric system 

An obnoxious system of measurement that, contrary to popular belief, Americans know, but don't see the need to waste billions, or time, on implementing. The metric system uses decimals and units of ten because fractions are just so much more convenient than whole numbers.
Canadian: Americans are too stupid to use the metric system.
American: Did you write that on the internet?
Canadian: Of course, stupid American.
American: Why didn't you use that global system of interconnected computer networks that Canadians invented?
Canadian: Eh?
metric system by cowpunkrva June 14, 2009

Metric Chassis 

The General Motors G-Body platform (1978-88 Chevy Monte Carlo, Buick Regal, Pontiac Grand Prix, Oldsmobile Cutlass). "Metric Chassis" is the name given to these cars by dirt track racing enthusiasts because they were the first GM car to start using metric fasteners.
Tom is running a metric chassis but most others have a Camaro at that track.
Metric Chassis by metric car August 13, 2012

metric crap-ton 

A ginormous amount, so large such that one prefers a generic measurement rather than a precise number.
Dude, you have a metric crap-ton of DVD's.
metric crap-ton by TheBearded1 November 1, 2008