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Masterbassion 

(n.);masterbassing-(v.) pronounced: Mast-er-bash-un
The stimulation of ones own bass guitar, especially slapping, which results in immediate pleasure and self-gratification. Depending on the length and intensity of masterbassion, pain and/or blisters may develop.
Idle hands lead to masterbassion.

Management Masterbation 

When Management does something purely for their gratification that will produce nothing.
Team building exersizes, employee surveys are just a few examples of management masterbation.

violent masterbation 

Masterbating in an extreme manner; associated with shaking, yelling, high speed, and possibly pain.
Josh had the greatest money-shots ever, but he died from too much violent masterbation.
violent masterbation by Bigg N October 27, 2006

Masterbation 

Jacking off
Whacking off
Beating off
Smacking the ho
Beating the pig
Whipping the Wayne
Slapping the salami

Whacking the wand
Punishing the pubs
Burning the beet
Beating the beef
Beating the meat
Jerking the jerky
Jerkin' the gherkin
Working the slave
Choking the chicken
Or
In redneck terms
Buttering the corn
Revving the engine
Or
Hunting the deer
I want to choke my chicken to nicki Minaj that's Masterbation
Masterbation by Big baller 2000 January 18, 2016

Masterbation Coma 

It happens after a person has masterbated. Mainly happens with guys. The person goes to sleep and wakes up late. Typically if your going to take a nap after masterbating you wont wake up for several hours. They will fall asleep and sleep longer than intended. But of course its a great sleep. Thus the Masterbation Coma.
Steve: Hey, Whats up?

Jon: Nothin.

Steve: Wheres Bob?

Jon: Ehh hes in a Masterbation Coma right now, Lets go with out him.

Steve: Alright.

Masturbration

Jono was so overjoyed that he got into the University of Southern California that he ran back home to masturbrate!

"Everytime i kill a bad guy in COD 4, there's no other way to celebrate but masturbration"
Masturbration by J0/\/O February 23, 2010