lasturbation 

the last masturbation before something; death, a long journey, a night out

"I better go take my lasturbation before we depart."

lasturbation by Ass P. Hat May 23, 2008

Lasturbation 

When a female masturbates by pulling their pants up to the point where the pants wedge in between the two vaginal lips and rub the clitoris.

Girl 1: How do you like to masturbate?

Girl 2: I like to put my jammies on and pull them up so it feels good on my pussy, otherwise known as lasturbation.

Girl 1: Wow, that is interesting

Girl 2: Yeah, I'm a frequent lasturbator.

Lasturbation by Phil Spinelli March 5, 2009

lasturbation 

The last time you masturbate to someone before you get over them.

Bartholomew: Nah, I'd never get back with Kelly, even if she begged me.
Reginald: Really, dude? You had so much thirst last week.
Bartholomew: I finally lasturbated and now I don't need her. I even think she's kinda gross!

Bob: Oh hi, Mark! What's with the new chick? How did you manage to get over Stacy?
Mark: Lasturbation is the way, man.
Bob: Teach me, master.

lasturbation by legendsword2 July 9, 2018

Comedic Masturbation 

When you are so funny by yourself that you laugh out loud without any participation by a partner.

Progresses from a small grin to a smile to a quiet giggle and then quickly reaches the climactic event of an audible belly laugh, or LOL. Following climax, tissue is often used to dry resulting wetness occuring in the ocular region.

My humor is not always understood by others and I frequently find myself involuntarily engaging in comedic masturbation.

Comedic Masturbation by K-Rista-Raaah July 22, 2016

Pasturbation 

Obsessively romanticizing the past.

Mad Men is great TV, if you're into pasturbation.

Pasturbation by fraying August 31, 2010

Bureaucratic Masturbation 

noun - 1. Engaging in any activity for the sake of making one feel better about themselves, their organization, or their company without actually accomplishing anything. 2. Holding meetings to provide recommendations only to have management do what they wanted in the first place. 3. Holding special work group meetings to make the 'little people' feel ownership, when the decision has already been made by higher levels of management.

My boss has picked me to suffer through more Bureaucratic Masturbation, representing the department on a policy work group.
I spent the last 3 months researching the best candidate for the position and the Boss picked his pet employee anyway. God I hat Bureaucratic Masturbation!

Bureaucratic Masturbation by Bill Koogler January 17, 2008

Masturbation guilt 

The sense of guilt you feel post-masturbation when you realized what you have just jerked yourself off to.

"Oh God, what have I done? I did not just masturbate to bestiality.. talk about masturbation guilt.

Masturbation guilt by GunaDK January 19, 2012