Skip to main content

Lapjob Blowdance

When a woman (preferably a dancer/stripper) gives you a lapdance without your pants on. This lapdance must be so well executed that you, in fact, cum all over the inside of her thighs. Then, you pour cocaine all over the semen and then make the woman snort the cocaine/semen mixture from her thigh area.

Not to be confused with a lapdance and subsequent blowjob.
I paid a Chinese hooker 300 dollars to perform a lapjob blowdance last night for me. She told me I had to supply the blow. About 40 minutes in, she had a stroke and died. The quality of strippers around here is getting really bad.
Lapjob Blowdance by Fluffywillow November 1, 2011
Related Words
Verb: When a dancer grinds on you and makes you cum in your pants during a lap dance.
"You can go to Candybar and get a lap job"
lap job by Shane McGehee June 14, 2008
This is generally performed by a maiden for a gentleman, however, roles may be reversed. Similar to a lap dance, a woman jives on a man's lap. Here's the catch--the small difference is that the job giver and receiver are naked. #pantsless #pleasurable #crotchsaddle
Alone and naked, Gerald and June got hot and bothered while listening to Jack Johnson. June mounted Gerald as he asked her for a lap job. Five minutes later, the neighbors know her name.
Lap Job by Shlong2.0 January 5, 2013

lapjoint 

the joint that is in your lap
also known as the vagina joint or dick joint
it can also be a lap dancer
for example:
omg you just broke my lapjoint!!!!!!!!

omg that girl is sexy...she's probably a lapjoint.
lapjoint by jackmeoff101 June 10, 2011
when lango fucks a girl so hard she has a nose bleed and she then cries spunk. usually happens on a saturday night
Girl: wanna fuck?
Lango: yeah wanna lanjob?
Girl 500: do it, its amazing
Lanjob by Brads Balls December 19, 2009
when giving oral sex to a guy who has a micro-penis and it technically cannot be called sucking.
I gave a Craig a really shallow lipjob because of his micro-penis
lipjob by mjgb007 May 9, 2011