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Monkey Branching 

Getting your next relationship set up before dumping your current S/O. Generally involves cheating (at least emotionally) on your current partner with the intended future partner. Refers to playing on the monkeybars, where you don't let go of the first bar until you've grabbed on the second.
Bill: "Well, your brother just sent the Save The Dates for his third marriage - they haven't even finalized the divorce yet!"

Joe: "Yeah, the monkey branching SOB did the same for his second marriage as well - all his relationships 'overlap,' if ya know what I mean."

OR

Joe: "Sue and I decided to try an open relationship."

Bill: "I dunno, sounds like she's monkey branching to her *next* relationship."
Monkey Branching by Mai Ainsel March 25, 2022
Word of the Day on May 3, 2024

Monkey Branching 

when a girl already has a boyfriend but she gives her number to guys that she meets and flirts as if she were single. she's basically branching off from her boyfriend and establishing backups.
yo dude I saw your girl at starbucks giving her number to some guy. I don't think she saw me. it looks like she's monkey branching, you should dump her.
Monkey Branching by soulblk4000 December 2, 2010
Branching- The act of cutting random tree branches from random houses and placing them on people’s doorsteps. Optional: Add a fake love letter with cheesy tree branch joke
Kelsey: Hey i'm bored
Amir: I saw a big tree earlier... wanna go branching?
Kelsey: Yeah! I'll bring the truck!
branching by aymurrr August 18, 2011
Gape your sexual partner and pour ranch dressing (usually hidden valley) in their butt hole and use it as a lubricant for intercourse.
Time to Ranch whats hidden in your valley.

the act of ranching
Ranching by SpiritOfSun February 11, 2020

ranching it 

A slang term for male masturbation.

Ranch dressing resembles semen, so "raching it" means jacking off.
"I heard Joe was ranching it in the school bathroom Tuesday!"
ranching it by lalala45677 January 22, 2009

Kranking 

When somebody cries, while they also wank.
Dean is always Kranking, he's a bit weird.
Kranking by Kranking May 30, 2015
More from Urban Dictionary

square grouper

Nickname given to bales of marijuana thrown overboard or out of airplanes. Origin is reportedly from members of the US Coast Guard in the area of Southern Florida.
"Base we've got some square groupers floating outside of Miami harbor."
square grouper by slipsheet November 6, 2004
Word of the Day on October 7, 2026
A girl who does ballet and only talks about ballet. Her schedule is filled with dance classes which does not allow her to do any other activity.
"Hey, do you know that girl Sally?"

"Yeah, she's kind of annoying. All she ever talks about it ballet."

"Wow, what a Bunhead."

"Hey Sally, you want to hang out this weekend?"
"I can't, I have dance."
"You're such a Bunhead."

"Yeah... I know."
Bunhead by Jen00 October 24, 2014
Word of the Day on October 6, 2026

trucker's tan 

A sunburn or suntan focused on the left arm. It is caused by the left side of the body being the only half that gets exposed to sunlight while driving. Presumably, it would be located on the right side of the body in countries where they drive on the left side of the road.
I had a trucker's tan after driving for 10 straight hours on a sunny day.
Word of the Day on October 5, 2026
The phenomenon where adults salivate at children's toys
Every time I walk into the toy aisle, I catch myself kidulting over the latest action figures and LEGO sets!
kidulting by Emotional Cruiser October 12, 2025
Word of the Day on October 4, 2026
British slang for a scientist or technical expert, esp . when the speaker is not certain of the expert’s specific field of study. Not necessarily derogatory, but typically used by persons without a technical background. In the US, the equivalent would be “egghead”, “squint”, or “geek.”

Origin of the word is unknown. Started sometime in World War 2. Given the typical evolution of British slang, could easily have started because what these experts did was confusing or “baffling” to the common person.
According to the boffins downstairs, the murderer used a serrated blade.
Boffin by Agnon February 11, 2023
Word of the Day on October 3, 2026

Pee Calculus

When you have to pee in a movie but don’t want to miss anything, and must do the following mental equation: will the amount I have to pee cause enough discomfort to diminish my attention capacity for the remainder of the movie to an extent which is greater than the amount of the movie I would miss by making a mad dash to the restroom.
I saw Satantango last night, wonderful film but by the 5th hour I had to start doing pee calculus.
Pee Calculus by anorlondo October 1, 2026
Word of the Day on October 2, 2026
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