Jesus fucking

When you fuck so hard and fast that you die and then revive 3 days later, and then get sent up to god's bedroom to do the same thing there.

Person 1: where the hell am I?
God: in my bedroom
Person 1: how did I die?
God: Jesus fucking...
Person 1: what?! Why am I in your bedroom
God: cause someone who can Jesus fuck only appears every 2 thousand years, now get in bed...

by A complete joke April 23, 2017

jesus fucking christ

A statement that is often used in a situation of utter disbelief, shock or frustration. It is arguably a blasphemy as well. Also used fervently by the character Tony Soprano on the Sopranos.

"Jesus fucking Christ! I missed the concert!"

"Jesus fucking Christ, Carmella! Close the door!"

by NightStalker935 December 20, 2017

Jesus fucking Christ on a pogo stick

Exclamation of surprise or shock as a result of nothign short of a miracle.

Jesus fucking Christ on a pogo stick! How did you get pregnant without having sex?!

by scalz July 10, 2006

Jesus Fucking Christ on the Cross

Perhaps the most offensive, non-racial phrase. It can be used as an exclamation when one is under stress. The phrase is synonymous with "Jesus Christ."

Jesus fucking Christ on the cross, I forgot to take the trash out last night!

by lemonlime69 November 6, 2014

jesus fucking christ

the way italians say i haven't seen you for a while

jesus fucking christ man, i aint seen you since that shit went down with that cocksucker pontius pilate

by ray March 24, 2005

jesus fucking prius

Phrase, in shock or anger of being driven into (or otherwise unacceptably intruded upon) by an unapologetic, self righteous, silent car.

"Jesus fucking Prius!"

by Streykidd March 28, 2015

jesus fucking kennedy

An expletive phrase linking and interfusing two individuals bound to the American psyche by their early deaths and cults of personality. The intermingling of the names punctuating a moment of intense frustration or hopelessness.

Jesus fucking Kennedy, is this traffic going to move or should we start building condos here!

by Andrew the Coiner March 19, 2008