When you fuck so hard and fast that you die and then revive 3 days later, and then get sent up to god's bedroom to do the same thing there.
Person 1: where the hell am I?
God: in my bedroom
Person 1: how did I die?
God: Jesus fucking...
Person 1: what?! Why am I in your bedroom
God: cause someone who can Jesus fuck only appears every 2 thousand years, now get in bed...
by A complete joke April 23, 2017
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When something scares you so bad you can’t just say fuck
*jon jumps out from behind a car*

Lizzie:Jesus fuck!
by Destiny🥵 February 21, 2020
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A combination of two of the most offensive swear words of our day, "Jesus fuck" is unique in its ability to offend damn near anyone.

Notable for its use in the beginning of the Leftover Crack/Citizen Fish split CD Deadline.
STZA: Well Dave, according to my most recent calculations
and factoring in all the ignorant sycophant cop-callers,
there are in excess of a billion police in this world.

DICTOR: Jesus fuck! That's a lot of pigs.
by Fatlard Lars December 17, 2007
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a word that is the ultimate offensive word and example of frustration, by combining "jesus" & "fuck" you can pretty much piss of anyone
"aww jesus fuck, i dropped my gogirt."

"let me get this straight, she likes tacos and sex, jesus fuck shes cool."

"you punched out a pterodactyl, jesus fuck thats badass"

"jesus fuck i lost mcGee"
by zack love April 10, 2008
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1. An ecstasy-inducing religious experience.

2. A conversation between dating individuals who refuse to have sex, and so choose, instead, to talk about their love for their Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.

1. An exclamation that is markedly more serious than the traditional words "fuck" or "Jesus." It is pronounced as if there is a comma between the two words: "Jesus, FUCK"
Person 1: What did you and that guy do last night? Did you hook up?

Person 2: You know, he is really religious and stuff. That got in the way, so we decided to Jesus Fuck instead.
by BetaBlocker July 6, 2010
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"Already being late for work this morning, I encountered one of those jesus fucks and it stalled me an additional 5 minutes!"
by 8088Y80M8 December 30, 2011
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When you lay her down on a crucifix, and nail her three times. On the third day, you'll be able to get a rise again.
Bob: "I heard Sara got Jesus Fucked last summer".

Tony: "Is that where you put her on a crucifix and nail her three times?"

Bob: "Yeah dude."

Tony: "Holy, holy, holy lord. God of power and might."
by The mysterious Mr.R March 30, 2011
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