Skip to main content

Mohs Scale of Internet Hardness 

Based off of Mohs Scale of Mineral Hardness, this scale is a measurement of how dark one's World Wide Web content can get without being mentally perturbed. It is typically described as a 1-to-10 scale with a single example from each level.

1. Google - What the fuck are you, Amish?

2. Youtube - Yawn.

3. Youporn - You've experienced a taste of the dark side of the Internet, but there's still a long ways to fall.

4. /b/ - The level where most Internet Veterans find themselves comfortable. Yeah, something funny here, something disgusting there, but you've seen it all before.

5. Goatse - You're a grizzled vet. As for the previous tiers, you might've been disgusted...when you were ten.

6. 2girls1cup - As the masses comment about how terrible this is, you simply scratch your head, and wonder what the big deal is.

7. Adultfanfiction.net - I'm starting to worry about you, man. I mean, you didn't flinch at all at the three paragraph description of how the once-transparent lube became chocolate as Adam and Chris simultaneously forced their penises down Jake's virgin asshole? You're either really brave, or really crazy.

8. Beastality - Just...stay away from me. Please.

9. Pain Olympics - Alternatively known as the John McCain tier, for not even years as a POW may prepare you for this level.

10. 3guys1hammer - Get a gun, rest the barrel in your oral cavity, and pull the trigger. You should survive the shot, for no mortal could survive this level.
Individuals as described by the Mohs Scale of Internet Hardness:

Your Grandparents - 1

Your Dad - 2.5

Newfag - 4

Oldfag - 5

Auschwitz Survivor - 8

Infant Rapist - 9

The Antichrist - 10
Related Words

Spencer Haynes 

Hey, you see that kid taking a shit?
Yeah, that's Spencer Haynes!
Spencer Haynes by cacajosh October 17, 2019

hadestown 

waaAAAIIIT FOR MEEEEE I'M COMINNNNN
way down hadestown, way down under the ground, hound dog howl and the whistle blow

Colton Haynes

Model, actor and, of course, sexiest man alive. Just search a picture of him.
Me: Will you marry me, Colton Haynes?
Colton: No.

Mohs Scale of Mineral Hardness 

The Mohs Scale of Mineral Hardness displays the scratch resistance of various minerals through the ability of a harder material to scratch a softer material. It was created in 1812 by geologist Friedrich Mohs. It lists ten minerals, ranging from Talc (Softest Known Mineral) at 1 to Diamond (Hardest Known Mineral) at 10.
Mohs Scale of Mineral Hardness is as follows:

1 - Talc
2 - Gypsum
3 - Calcite
4 - Fluorite
5 - Apatite
6 - Orthoclase Feldspar
7 - Quartz
8 - Topaz
9 - Corundum
10 - Diamond

Hadestown 

A kickass folk-ish musical that adapts the Greek myth telling the story of the young lovers, Orpheus & Eurydice which parallels that of the older couple Hades & Persephone all while discussing the challenges of living in a post-apocalyptic and capitalist society. Hadestown won eight Tony Awards at the 73rd Annual Tony Awards and was nominated for fourteen Tonys. The show was written by Anaïs Mitchell and is directed by Rachel Chavkin (both Tony winners, respectively.)
Reeve Carney: Wow! I’m so happy to be involved with the production of Hadestown!
Hadestown’s sub-Tumblr tag: WOW, Hadestown swept at the Tonys and deservedly so!
Hadestown by hadestown June 16, 2019