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guidance 

A period in school time where they try to teach you about life.
No one ever listens but they eat and mostly sleep for an hour.
burger-"What food did you get for guidance?"
Me-"I got two ham rolls and some chocolate bars."
burger-"Cool."
guidance by securson March 24, 2004

Guidance 

If you want guidance, see advice.
Guidance by Quof March 27, 2011

The Guidance Center 

A non-profit organization that operates under ass backwards rules and regulations run by idiotic, ego tripping, morons with grandiose delusions.
assinine hell dysfunctional convoluted transient grossly underpaid grossly overworked stupid retarded the guidance center

Guidance Counselor 

A particularly lame and moronic adult that spends most of the day patronizing unhappy children/teenagers while under the delusion that they are making the world a better place. Except in very rare cases, they usually end up screwing kids more than helping them. Tend to smile too much. Approach with caution.
Mrs McKay, the middle school guidance counselor, smiled at the distraught young boy and, instead of giving him any useful advice, told him to just ignore the kids that threw trash at him on a daily basis. Then she gave him an animal cracker and asked how many guns he had at home.
Guidance Counselor by Nobody Everyman February 26, 2005

Guidance Counselor 

A person employed in the field of Education who drinks a shit load of coffee and pisses off the teachers in his/her school by sitting at his/her desk all day surfing the net, drinking coffee and talking on the phone while they have to deal with 30+ unruly brats all day. Often times this person is a former teacher who had zero classroom control and realized that they could get the best of both worlds (summers off, out the door by 3pm and not have to deal with kids) by going to Graduate School and becoming a Guidance Counselor.
After walking by a classroom of 30 unruly 2nd graders, the Guidance Counselor walked into his office, closed the door, poured himself a cup of coffee, called his girlfriend, logged onto the internet, turned the radio on, leaned back in his chair and said, "this is the life!".

career guidance 

I don't really have anything funny to put here but I don't know if I have to write "career guidance" for the definition to be accepted so here it is
More from Urban Dictionary

square grouper

Nickname given to bales of marijuana thrown overboard or out of airplanes. Origin is reportedly from members of the US Coast Guard in the area of Southern Florida.
"Base we've got some square groupers floating outside of Miami harbor."
square grouper by slipsheet November 6, 2004
Word of the Day on October 7, 2026
A girl who does ballet and only talks about ballet. Her schedule is filled with dance classes which does not allow her to do any other activity.
"Hey, do you know that girl Sally?"

"Yeah, she's kind of annoying. All she ever talks about it ballet."

"Wow, what a Bunhead."

"Hey Sally, you want to hang out this weekend?"
"I can't, I have dance."
"You're such a Bunhead."

"Yeah... I know."
Bunhead by Jen00 October 24, 2014
Word of the Day on October 6, 2026

trucker's tan 

A sunburn or suntan focused on the left arm. It is caused by the left side of the body being the only half that gets exposed to sunlight while driving. Presumably, it would be located on the right side of the body in countries where they drive on the left side of the road.
I had a trucker's tan after driving for 10 straight hours on a sunny day.
Word of the Day on October 5, 2026
The phenomenon where adults salivate at children's toys
Every time I walk into the toy aisle, I catch myself kidulting over the latest action figures and LEGO sets!
kidulting by Emotional Cruiser October 12, 2025
Word of the Day on October 4, 2026
British slang for a scientist or technical expert, esp . when the speaker is not certain of the expert’s specific field of study. Not necessarily derogatory, but typically used by persons without a technical background. In the US, the equivalent would be “egghead”, “squint”, or “geek.”

Origin of the word is unknown. Started sometime in World War 2. Given the typical evolution of British slang, could easily have started because what these experts did was confusing or “baffling” to the common person.
According to the boffins downstairs, the murderer used a serrated blade.
Boffin by Agnon February 11, 2023
Word of the Day on October 3, 2026

Pee Calculus

When you have to pee in a movie but don’t want to miss anything, and must do the following mental equation: will the amount I have to pee cause enough discomfort to diminish my attention capacity for the remainder of the movie to an extent which is greater than the amount of the movie I would miss by making a mad dash to the restroom.
I saw Satantango last night, wonderful film but by the 5th hour I had to start doing pee calculus.
Pee Calculus by anorlondo October 1, 2026
Word of the Day on October 2, 2026
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