Flathat

(Noun) An individual that wears the bill of their hat completely flattened out so that other douchebags will know that he is also just pretending that he knows martial arts.

This style of headgear is frequently worn with clothing and accessories that prominently feature the Tapout logo and tattoos that say 'I'm a douche" in Chinese lettering next to tribal armbands.

Note: Less than 31% of flathats actually know any kind of martial arts and even fewer actually own a motorcycle.

Did you see those two flathats get their asses kicked by that Yoga Instructor chick that they were hitting on? I guess they bought the MMA gear but couldn't afford the lessons.

by Erich.me August 29, 2012

Flathair

Derogatory word for overly pretentious, non-self-aware germans on the internet. Originating from the description of young and sheltered, usually upper-middle-class german women acting in a naive all-knowing manner berating others while acting in ways usually mocked by the general public, and their usually purposefully very flat laying hairstyle. Has since expanded to a catch-all term including all behavior of specifically ethnic germans that are mocked upon in the general environment of the internet, but which are common in niche german-speaking communities, usually immediately identifying germans acting as if they are not a german in a more international community and the misinformation they have been spreading in their know-it-all-manner alongside it as part of that. Often ends with insults directed to those calling them out, often featuring more openly hostile displays of extremely racist and generally right-wing nationalist tendencies in direct contrast with their supposedly progressive, worldly persona.

While the literal german translation of "Flachhaar" has seen some adoption in german communities, which often make a big deal of translating every single piece of foreign vocabulary even if it is already widely adopted in regular conversation, the sheer existence of people and words not honoring the perceived superiority of humble Germany is still met with a higher than usual level of hostility, and usually world-shattering for those very sheltered individuals.

Of course it was a flathair all along, don't you have anything better to do than to insult and berate us about our own customs?

by Jason_Straker December 18, 2021

Flatwater Kayak

A suicidal sport based on racing tippy boats down flat water including, but not limited to, lakes and gorges. Most sprint athletes train through the winter without all that much clothing, layering what they do wear oddly in haste or desperation for warmth. Sprint kayakers are often considered to be rowers' slow cousin and whitewaters' wimpy sister, but in reality alot of pain and guts goes into the sport.

Most clubs share training grounds with rowers and have develloped an intense rivalry with them. Sprint kayakers have to remain fit not just for overall speed but also to fit in the thin boats. New kayakers frequently capsize, and to avoid this they might stear clear of using seats, which brings them lower to the water's surface and improves balance. Many boats use tall spikes to hold seats in place, and as many clubs are fairly poor many boats lack footboards (a board that kayakers use with steering and legdrive) so athletes occasionally have to deal with extreme discomfort. The sport is embaressing if you're caught in public in winter gear, or if you capsize during a regatta on a popular lake. This sport is not to be confused with recreational kayaking; recreational kayaks do well on rough waters while sprint boats are brutal in the wind.

1)
Brad: "Hey, Keith, check out that freaky chick with the layered spandex!"
Keith: "Haha, I hear she kayaks or something, who does that in the winter, she must be crazy!"
2)
Leslie: "Hey, kayaker! Having trouble keeping up with us shells?" (shells referring to rowing boats)
Andrea: "Hey, rower! Having trouble identifying that whale you're heading straight towards?"
3)
Oscar: "Yo, sprint is whitewater's gimped sis, man!"
Tory: "Oh yeah, I forgot that it's wimpy to risk hypothermia 6 months of the year while pulling 200 pounds with my arms and abs."
4)
Gregory: "God, it's sooooo cold out, and I have to walk home from the bus!"
Calvin: "Yeah, I have to go kayak until 7:00."
Gregory: "Serious, man? Are you crazy?"
Calvin: "Nah, just a wee bit suicidal."

FLATWATER KAYAK OWNS

by lolCKClol November 20, 2009

flatchat

At full speed, going as fast as you possibly can. (Australian)

"We were fully gunning this old HQ Kingswood totally FLATCHAT downhill with a tailwind, and we still couldn't get away from the copper on his pushie."

by Alex From Oz October 20, 2007

Franklin Fellatio Flatuation Breakup

She's giving you head, you take your dick out of her mouth, fart in her face and end the relationship on the spot.

I was so sick of her so I gave her a Franklin Fellatio Flatuation Breakup (FFFB) and got out of there

by TooFingFunny May 10, 2018

Flatuatory Rape

When someone farts in your personal space against you own wishes.

"Eww, my dad just Flatuatory Raped me!"

by Kristopher Michael Fredrickson March 9, 2010

flatmate's ear

The ability to pick out the important parts of a really boring speech and ignore everything else, avoiding being bored while not offending the person speaking.

'boring boring boring boring we're meeting at eight tonight boring boring boring boring.'
'ah, thank you flatmate's ear.'
'that reminds me of boring boring boring boring...'

by Andrew Doughty May 3, 2008