flatmate 

1. A femail friend with small or non-existant mammaries
2. A person who lives in the same flat as you.

1.
What do you think of Emma?
She's flatmate
2.
I'm going for a beer with my flatmates.

flatmate by Fraser Steen October 20, 2006

Flatmate 

a person who you share a room with

My flatmate's telling me to put an ONION in my room

Flatmate by Gokaes June 10, 2018

flatmate's ear 

The ability to pick out the important parts of a really boring speech and ignore everything else, avoiding being bored while not offending the person speaking.

'boring boring boring boring we're meeting at eight tonight boring boring boring boring.'
'ah, thank you flatmate's ear.'
'that reminds me of boring boring boring boring...'

flatmate's ear by Andrew Doughty May 3, 2008

Flatmate Risotto 

When you want to make dinner with your university flatmates so you use the by-products from your orgy with them to make risotto.

Flatmate 1: oh man I really fancy some risotto but the local supermarket is out of ingredients
Flatmate 2: I know, why don't we make Flatmate Risotto?

Flatmate Risotto by HugeDaddy69 January 25, 2022

Aussie flatmate 

A native of Australia who joins your flat share and fucks shit up. Seems "quite sound" when you first meet, but as soon as their name's on the contract shit starts to go wrong:

- multiplication: get home from work and your flat is full of Aussies drinking lager, vomming in your toilet, and touching up bull dykes (known as Sheilas). Once Aussies have multiplied in your house, it is v hard to get rid of them.

- shit banter: Aussie banter is based on their supposed superiority to dumb Yanks, boring Poms, sheep shagging Kiwis, and anyone with brown skin. Still think they dominate most sports, despite this not being true.

- Ramsay Street Kitchen Nightmares: nobody in Australia has any taste or knows how to cook. Your kitchen will look like a load of 14-year-old boys moved in for a month. Signs include stacks of empty beer cans, pizza boxes and the smell of wanking coming from the sink.

- crime: Aussies are descended from convicts. The country has been a hotbed of crime since the days of Ned Kelly, and your Aussie flatmate is no different. As they have no taste (see above), they struggle to steal anything valuable, but your TV may get pawned.

- The Aussie goodbye: If you have managed to survive long enough to outstay your Aussie flatmate, you'll probably be treated to the Aussie goodbye. The classic version is to leave without paying a major bill, several months' rent, and with no forwarding address.

Joe: Hi Brad, I've just got back from work. How was your day?
Brad: I'VE BEEN DRINKIN' HEAPS OF FACKIN' BEER YOU POMMY CUNT!
Joe: Oh that's good. I just noticed there's a naked, overweight, sunburnt woman passed out in my bed.
Brad: HAHA YES MATE, ME AND THE BOYS SPIT ROASTED LISA. AUSSIE AUSSIE AUSSIE. OI OI OI.
Joe: Fuck, I hate having an Aussie flatmate.

Aussie flatmate by Terry Tractorosis December 4, 2012

Flatwater Kayak 

A suicidal sport based on racing tippy boats down flat water including, but not limited to, lakes and gorges. Most sprint athletes train through the winter without all that much clothing, layering what they do wear oddly in haste or desperation for warmth. Sprint kayakers are often considered to be rowers' slow cousin and whitewaters' wimpy sister, but in reality alot of pain and guts goes into the sport.

Most clubs share training grounds with rowers and have develloped an intense rivalry with them. Sprint kayakers have to remain fit not just for overall speed but also to fit in the thin boats. New kayakers frequently capsize, and to avoid this they might stear clear of using seats, which brings them lower to the water's surface and improves balance. Many boats use tall spikes to hold seats in place, and as many clubs are fairly poor many boats lack footboards (a board that kayakers use with steering and legdrive) so athletes occasionally have to deal with extreme discomfort. The sport is embaressing if you're caught in public in winter gear, or if you capsize during a regatta on a popular lake. This sport is not to be confused with recreational kayaking; recreational kayaks do well on rough waters while sprint boats are brutal in the wind.

1)
Brad: "Hey, Keith, check out that freaky chick with the layered spandex!"
Keith: "Haha, I hear she kayaks or something, who does that in the winter, she must be crazy!"
2)
Leslie: "Hey, kayaker! Having trouble keeping up with us shells?" (shells referring to rowing boats)
Andrea: "Hey, rower! Having trouble identifying that whale you're heading straight towards?"
3)
Oscar: "Yo, sprint is whitewater's gimped sis, man!"
Tory: "Oh yeah, I forgot that it's wimpy to risk hypothermia 6 months of the year while pulling 200 pounds with my arms and abs."
4)
Gregory: "God, it's sooooo cold out, and I have to walk home from the bus!"
Calvin: "Yeah, I have to go kayak until 7:00."
Gregory: "Serious, man? Are you crazy?"
Calvin: "Nah, just a wee bit suicidal."

FLATWATER KAYAK OWNS

Flatwater Kayak by lolCKClol November 20, 2009

Flat Mate 

A person with whom one shares a rental property.

AKA a room mate or roomie.

Someone to split the rent with. (If they have the money)

Tom: Whoa, Somebody broke in and trashed your apartment while you were gone!
You: I wish. No, it was just my Flat mate, he's a pig.

You: Hey will you wash the dishes?
Flat mate: Ignores you and goes to his room.

Flat Mate by Pyro ND June 4, 2009